I wanted to do a post on this because Instagram only gives you so much space…!
The Bitch Clinic is something that has been set up by kick ass queen PT Miranda Fox, initially beginning with pop-up workshop. It currently runs throughout October as a class at Gymbox, Farringdon for #BITCHTOBER.
It is a movement class (& growing community!) like no other, focused on supporting, inspiring and empowering women.
The physical aspect of the class gets everyone to move their bodies in a natural way and explore new planes of movement (predominantly using primal flow sequences), while ultimately re-wiring our thoughts around ‘exercise’ and ‘working out’, helping people to move away from the obsession with workouts as punishment or weight loss tools and giving women the confidence to embrace how they look and feel, regardless of shape, size or any other aesthetic.
You won’t hear Miranda tell you to torch fat or burn calories or hammer your body into the ground. Each class is small and intimate and starts with a moment gathered together in a circle – yesterday’s class, for example, began with a reflection on how amazing our bodies are and how privileged we actually are to be able-bodied and move the way we do. Miranda then takes the class through a warm up which also includes elements to really tune you in to how body and mind feel.
You then work through some of the movements that will later be combined into a flow sequence, with coaching from Miranda at your own pace to help you improve form and get the most out of everything you’re doing.
Classes work on a No shoes, No phones, No Egos & no bullshit policy, so everyone completely focuses in on how they’re moving and enjoys the class without the constant distraction of people filming for social media or snapping selfies mid-move (photos before and after ok of course, she won’t bite!)
The pop-up workshops also featured inspiring speakers at each session, with real women telling their stories of all kinds – how movement healed their bodies, how they left violent relationships, an incredible feminist spoken-word poet…
What exactly is ‘primal movement’?
Primal movement, the base of the class, is a way of movement that steps outside the fitness industry box of ‘lets do 10 burpees, 10 deadlifts, 10 push-ups’, and removes the limits and restrictions that so many people find put them off the standard ways of training packaged up and sold to us by gyms. It can be very individual, and utilizes much more of your body rather than working things in complete isolation (and as a result, despite looking less like the workouts you’re used to, can be infinitely more challenging as it’s working strength, balance, flexibility, mobility, and firing smaller accessory muscles that normally don’t get tapped up for more traditional movement!).
Part of the theory goes that our ancestors were super fit, physical beings (and certainly not hunched over desks!) and they didn’t need a tonne of equipment to get that way. They didn’t huddle over phones, laze in front of the TV and hunchback over computers. They also didn’t use treadmills, dumbells, TRX, bench press, barbells… They did, however, know how to use the human body to the best of its ability (so the theory goes).
Primal movement is:
a unique way of movement that doesn’t fit into a traditional fitness industry box;
a system of movement that uses different directions;
movement that often explores being closer to the ground;
something that encourages freedom of movement;
a whole-body, holistic workout;
a method of re-connecting with our bodies and how they are designed to move;
a combination of flexibility, strength, balance and stability, cardio and core work;
a functional movement method.
Experts, (apparently – see Metro article here), suggest it could hold the key to improving peoples’ strength and fitness at the same time as alleviating chronic lifestyle-triggered pain and illness.
Why I’m loving it and it’s changing the way I train
I’ve written before on Instagram about my experiences at the workshops, and it basically being a workout, a therapy session & a girly catch-up sesh with likeminded women all rolled into one, and there’s also the fact that Miranda is an INCREDIBLE trainer, really knows her stuff, but more importantly lives and breathes it – no bullshit, she’s straight up passionate and authentic and always delivers everything The Bitch Clinic promises.
Lately, I’ve also been advised to reduce the amount of high impact, high intensity work I do by my nutritionist (which is soooo hard for me as I love it, and it tends to get me out of bed during the week!) but admittedly if you’re living a high-stress lifestyle, sometimes flooding your system with MORE cortisol from hardcore workouts isn’t the best idea (plus it can actually impede results).
Primal movement gives me a different feeling after class. It’s not brutal, I don’t feel battered or broken. But I have broken a sweat, I’ve been challenged in new ways, I have a slightly calmer version of the post-workout high – maybe not the full on drug-like buzz of when you’ve beasted circuits, plyometrics and boxing, but a general sense of endorphiny-blissy-but-not-dead feeling of having energized my body rather than drained it of all its physical resources. Plus that’s always coupled with a sense of relaxation and being at peace with myself and my body that I don’t really get anywhere else except yoga savasana, and I definitely don’t get from putting myself through punishing sessions (NOTE: I don’t workout to punish myself EVER, but I recognize some of the higher impact high intensity stuff I love is nonetheless punishing my body, and so for optimum health I really should reduce it!)
Anyway, I can’t recommend giving it a try enough. It’s amazing, it’s challenging, and it yes, it’s totally different, and it can take a while to wrap both body and brain around it, so if you’re nervous or hesitant AT ALL, all I would say is give it a chance, don’t judge it by how tricky it can feel to begin with – and take the opportunity to totally transform your mindset and confidence in your body and yourself with The Bitch Clinic. ❤
People tell you how stressful wedding planning is.
How it has to be ‘perfect’.
How it’s manic, how it’s hard, how maybe you need to hire a planner, how you’ll be surprised how quickly the fun of it wears off… Spoiler, I’ve been with Boy for nearly 14 years, engaged for 2.5 years (I think?!) and planning a wedding for a year – and we’re still loving it!!!
There are tonnes of people who like to give you warnings or advice or sagely tell you the troubles they had, and forecast your impending wedding doom.
Honestly? It is a complete myth that it has to be that way.
Here are my two cents and ramblings on:
enjoying planning, without the stress;
money saving tips and budget friendly ideas; and
what does it all mean anyway?!
There are several things you can do to make sure you have a blast instead of a battle with your wedding (and trust me, we have the world’s most complicated family politics so it’s not like we have the classic nuclear happy family with two parents each and a conventional top table – far from it!) But we’ve not had any drama planning at all, and have loved every second. The most difficult thing has been choosing a piece of music for my aisle walk, and one slight confusion over a shade of navy for suits haha. The rest has been a dream!
Please note, though, that everyone is different, obviously every couple is unique – this is just my two cents, and I get that some cultures have a lot more pressure to invite the whole family or include them (which if you can avoid it, if you’re not from those cultures, I’d suggest avoiding and just doing it YOUR way (as in you as a couple, not you solo!) for maximum happiness!)
1. Stress-free planning
What do you want? Boy & I are very lucky that, having been together for bloody ages, we know each other inside out and can always tell if the other one would like something or not. However, we’ve also had a long time to get to know each other’s general vision for life, and how we like things to be done. This really helps when it comes to planning a wedding. But it doesn’t matter if you haven’t grown up together. It just comes down to knowing each other well, communicating, and not being a selfish wedding hog / bridezilla!
The best thing to do to begin with is chat about your priorities. For example, we felt that food, drink and setting were important to us; a small wedding for family and friends but definitely not a huge thing was key, and certain things (like expensive florists, favours, wedding cake) were things we’d like to skip or not worry about or de-prioritise. We are also both strong atheists so we wanted religion free, guaranteed. We also wanted to remove what we feel are patriarchal traditions or make them our own (so I’m not doing a bouquet toss, I’m being walked down the aisle by both my parents, not given away, and I have guys maids as well as bridesmaids, and will be making a speech at the wedding breakfast as will my maid of honour!)
Figure out what you both want out of the day, and what you’re willing and not willing to spend on.
I guess we were lucky in that we wanted the same thing. If you and your other half disagree, then you really need to get talking and work out how you want to reconcile the differences. The best thing to do with this remember you’re getting married because you want to hang out with and annoy your best friend for the rest of your life, and you bloody love each other. Not to have some party that you planned a specific way. Listen, talk, listen some more, take a deep breath and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Don’t let a disagreement on something wedding-related cause arguments! It’s not worth it. Would you really want your other half to have something they weren’t comfortable with on the day? And would they really want that for you?
My best illustration of this from our planning wasn’t an argument, but we do have different personalities – I love dancing – I grew up doing ballet, tap, modern, jazz, ballroom, salsa, tango… And Boy was totally willing to learn something for a first dance and take lessons to make me happy. But I wouldn’t BE happy knowing how much he hates dancing making him perform like a pony and pay for lessons! I was more than happy to just pick a song together and we can have a 30 second shuffle on the spot before everyone joins us. Simple! Some people asked if I felt like I was missing out, but I really, really don’t – Boy wouldn’t be Boy if he did some choreographed routine and I love him the way he is! If you think I’m missing out, you’re kiiiinda missing the point of the wedding!
Decide you’re going to enjoy the process and don’t act out the story people sell you of wedding stress. It’s a privilege, not a punishment! I regularly like to just daydream about mine, listen to the soundtracks we’ve picked, browse for ideas in Pinterest and magazines and get excited. We talk about it and bounce ideas off each other over Prosecco in the pub. We NEVER plan when we’re stressed. I recommend this strategy because it means you stay happy, grateful, excited and you enjoy the planning process.
Pick your priorities
Remember it’s a celebration with the people who are most important to you; don’t sweat the small stuff and certainly don’t let it cause arguments!
Decide on a vision for the wedding that you’re both happy with (size, budget, location, vibe and theme, religious/non religious, elements that are important to you and elements you’d like to skip or spend less on!)
Enjoy the process! Plan when it feels fun, rather than when it feels like a chore. That’s why I’d recommend, personally, having as much time to plan a wedding as possible. We were engaged for about a year, a year and a half, without setting a date, which gave us loads of time to just get creative and mull over ideas. Then when we set the date we had a year to organise. I COULDN’T RECOMMEND TAKING YOUR TIME MORE! It means you can enjoy each stage, really plan what you want, make every planning detail into a little celebration rather than just another thing on a manic to-do list!
Make it about both of you. We’re both feminists (obviously!) and were determined that we wouldn’t have family just ask me as the bride about how planning was going, so we made a pact early on to get Boy to field those questions when they came up so people would learn slowly it was an equal parts thing. We were both involved with every selection and choice, and wouldn’t have had it any other way! The wedding should be about you as a couple. I can’t stand this idea of people getting carried away at the expense of including their other half because of a childhood Disney vision. I equally can’t stand the idea of a disinterested party leaving it all to the other person – why bother, then?! You’re a team. You should both be interested, excited, and making a team effort! It also takes the pressure off and brings you closer.
Don’t let other peoples’ opinions sway you. It’s your day as a couple, not your family’s (unless they’re paying for your wedding or lots of it in which case you’ve possibly kind of given them a stake I guess so good luck with that! Personally I’d say work hard, save and fund your own wedding so you can be totally free and not beholden and let them help with nice details if they want to). But interfering aunts or in-laws or mums or nosy neighbours should be gently but firmly reminded that you will need to decide things as a couple, so thanks for being excited for me and interested, but you’ll be making decisions together with your other half.
Plan when you’re happy, not when you’re stressed. Make it a celebration and pop some bubbly, discuss, brainstorm, and communicate communicate communicate. There’s no need to make it a drama. Decide you’re going to have fun with it, and do it.
Include who you want to include, when you want to include them. There will always be someone who might be annoyed they couldn’t make your hen date, or that you didn’t ask them to come to choose wedding accessories with you – but nobody owns this wedding but the two of you. Obviously don’t deliberately set out to upset people, but you are entitled to make your own choices and are not responsible for other peoples’ reactions to them. A therapist told me that once and it’s changed my life in general, but its definitely useful to remember when planning a wedding!
Things not to forget for a seamless stress-free day!
Another important way to reduce stress is to have a couple of sessions before the big day with you, your other half and either the events team at your venue, or the bridal party or whoever is helping you if you have a blank canvas venue and discuss the plan for the day and how it will go from waking up to finishing – who is travelling where, and how, who is starting the music, who shepherds people back and forth for photos, who announces the wedding breakfasts or toasts…? This is easy to forget if you’ve hired a blank canvas venue that needs decorating or furniture moving too – make sure you know who is helping and when and how, and give them plenty of time to get their head around the schedule and what is required to avoid hiccups on the day!
A Master of Ceremonies can also be hired, or you can appoint a friend or a groomsmen, but whichever you choose, it’s super useful to create structure to the day and make sure you don’t have to worry yourselves about directing people!
2. No money no honey…?
The average wedding budget is apparently circa £30,000. We both said up front we would never want to spend anywhere near that on a one-day party. We wanted a wedding that was amazing and the way we wanted it, of course, but we also wanted any money we spent to not materially affect our savings for a house deposit. More just felt excessive for us. If you’re super wealthy and don’t blink at that budget… then good for you! And if you’ve saved that and having a big wedding is important to you, or having specific things that soak up that level of cost, then 100% go for it, no judgement, YOU DO YOU.
There is no right or wrong. But you need to make sure you’re both comfortable with the wedding budget, and nobody is stressed about it.
We decided if we splash out it’ll be on our honeymoon. The wedding is gonna be great, we’re not skimping on the things that are important to us, but you can get all of those things on a MUCH smaller budget than that apparent ‘average’.
For obvious reasons I’m not posting our budget here, and a disclaimer I guess – we’re lucky that we haven’t had to budget in the sense of adding up every single spend for the wedding- we both named a max cost figure we’d be happy with, but have just paid for stuff over the year as we’ve gone along and not totalled it up so to be honest we don’t know exactly what we’ve spent, we just pay the instalments as they fall due, and only say yes to things that we know fit within what we said we were happy with. Plus my mum kindly wanted to cover the cost of our ‘cake’ (it’s not a traditional cake though!) and my dad wanted to cover my dress, so we’ve been lucky to have them do that.
If you do need to be careful with pennies, make a plan, make a spreadsheet and get quotes in early, especially for those priority items.
These are the top tips I have for money saving either from planning our own wedding and cutting corners on cost where we wanted to, or weddings of friends who were fab at creative solutions!
REALLY think about your guest list. Do you ACTUALLY NEED to invite 300 people? Big numbers add up to big costs very quickly (feeding and wining them can be killer if you’re having hundreds!) We were happy with 60 day guests and approx 80 for the reception. Can you keep your day smaller and have more people for the evening? Can you cut it right down to just some close family and friends? A good (although not foolproof) rule of thumb (but it can help if you’re struggling) is have you seen them in the last year? If no, definitely no day invite and possible no reception invite. If you need to cut the list you can also remove people you don’t both spend time with as a couple unless they’re close family or super important to you for a specific reason.
Spend on your priority items but then consider alternatives for other things. For example, our florist gave us a minimum spend of £1,000. LOL. We would rather put that on nicer food and wine than flowers that last for one day (or, even save it!) so we said no thanks, and I’m doing my own bouquet and the bridesmaids are having single stems. We’ve also designed our own centrepieces and collected items over the year to build them with. Maybe flowers ARE important to you and you’d spend double that, but you care less about having welcome bubbly.
Work out if you really want something and if the answer is no, skip it. People assume because it’s a wedding they need a bouquet – you don’t have to if you don’t want to! I wanted one, so I said yes, but Boy didn’t want buttonholes so we said no to that and saved. By making our own centrepieces we’re saving a fortune on floristry. We’re also skipping wedding favours (although we will be donating in lieu of them to a charity that’s important to us called Girls Not Brides working to end child marriage) which can really increase the cost.
Consider your options: some venues will quote you £X for exclusive venue hire, food, some drink and ceremony decor all in, or you could hire a barn, put a marquee up somewhere gorgeous in the country or track down a blank canvas venue and do everything yourself. Both have pros and cons, but depending on your budget, and your team of supporters/the time you have available, both can create epic weddings!
Some items you may want to question whether you need to pay someone to do them, or whether you want to do them yourself or skip them entirely: flowers (can you skip? Get creative yourself? Ask a friend?), food (any caterers in the family? Do you really want a five course banquet or are you happy with some alternative options like festival food trucks, a hog roast, a bbq, or a buffet if you can rope some friends in to help?), cake (we are having a three course meal and decided after dessert we didn’t need cake cake as well, so we’re having something alternative. You might want to leave it out altogether, or get a family member or friend to get creative and make one for you!), stationery (do you need it printed or can you get crafty? Or can you order say the invites, but handwrite place cards? Do you really want menu cards or individual orders of service? The answer may well be yes in which case great, but you can do other things like have an easel showing the menu or order of service and save printing costs if you want!), wedding rings (firstly, do you both want them? Secondly, do you want to spend tonnes on them? Go for it, if yes, but we both said that we wanted my engagement ring to be the star of the show, and I didn’t feel like I needed another Big Deal ring. We just wanted them symbolically and got an amazing deal even though we got our rings designed specially for us – bargain hunt (and if you go to Hatton Garden, definitely haggle!)
DON’T FORGET WEDDING INSURANCE just incase. If you’re using a listed building as a venue check the cover is high enough as damage to a listed building can be veeeeeery costly!
Consider using your family and friends’ talents be they floristry, cake decorating, music or playing an instrument, DJing…
Think outside the box. Etsy is great for crafty low cost things from stationery to decor, or even gorgeous dried wildflower bouquets – perfect for a spring or summer wedding!
A wedding website can save on RSVP printing, and is an easy way to field questions about your wedding too!
Best day of your life…?
Maybe it will be the best day, maybe it won’t, but it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’, it just has to make you happy so you can have a bloody good time together and celebrate your relationship.
Plan when you’re in a good mood.
Allow plenty of time.
Create checklists and a tracker so you know what needs doing, when, and how long before the wedding.
Give the wedding party plenty of notice for anything you need their help with so they can plan for it, be it time-wise or cost-wise.
And stay true to what YOU WANT between the two of you. Screw the huge wedding consumerist industry pushing things on you, and screw other people pushing things on you that you don’t want.
3. What does it all mean?
As we’re not religious (and actually I didn’t believe in marriage for many years!) you could say why am I getting married?
The truth is, we are kind of married already, living together for almost 14 years. We know that we’re in it for the long haul and have known that for a long time. A piece of paper won’t change anything…
But we wanted a party with the people we’re close to to celebrate that, and legal recognition that we are a team. It’s that simple. Life is pretty meaningless unless you create meaning. Sharing little occasions like this, for us, is one of those ways!
Marriage isn’t perfect or sacred, it’s dirty and messy like us humans, like all relationships… like everything great, it’s unique. There’s no one size fits all. There’s no universal rule or law. There’s no magic or ideal solution or special formula. It’s two people working at things, figuring out life’s nightmares together a day at a time, laughing together but also annoying each other, sometimes angry or even fucking livid…! but always ultimately fighting for each other and for the best for the other person against everything else. This applies to all our friendships and relationships, of course, and even to wedding planning… but especially to marriage if you actually want to make it. One or both of you will, at some point, consider getting out of this thing. The trick is never having both of you stop fighting for it at the same time, and never stopping having a fucking hilarious time together!
Ps if you’re thinking omg I’m so stressed, none of this works for me, I’m scared, I’m not doing it right, I’m confused….You don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. If you’re not enjoying the idea or the process, between you maybe you should think about whether its right for you or not. But if you’re choosing to then reeeeally enjoy it and embrace it, and don’t let it become a stressful thing. It’s actually very simple if you’re logical and organised. It is just planning an event. But more fun, because there’s such an emotional attachment and investment!
Do what you (as a couple) want to do. That’s the only way to do it. Other than that, there really isn’t a right or a wrong way.
You’re also both only human. Hera the Greek Goddess of marriage was one jealous, batshit crazy, vengeful bitch at times! (Read your classical mythology if that’s all Greek to you!) Aren’t we all?! So take marriage and wedding planning off this weird princessy glowy Disney perfect pedestal and enjoy it for all the guts and gore (& wicked bloody fun!) it really can be if you let it. You choose.
Focus on how much you make each other laugh and channel that into your wedding choices.
I’m sure there are some corners of the internet who will roll their eyes and say it’s not that simple. But I promise it can be! (Even with trying to do a wedding seating chart for my divorced parents, my ex-step parents (!), my parents’ current partners, my other half’s mum and partner and dad, some ex-step siblings of mine and a fairly sizeable family contingent!)
Have a bloody good time with it kids. That’s the point.
Spirituality is slowly seeping more and more into the instagram wellbeing bubble – I’ve recently heard spiritual wellness coaches like Jody Shield speak at events alongside fitness and nutrition professionals, showing people that spirituality can combine with modern life and isn’t just for hippies in a field dancing naked wearing hemp and sandals.
Former ‘fitness only’ influencers have moved across into yoga, astrology and crystals (quite a few instagrammers, for example) and then there are the public figures like Mel Wells who has moved from food coaching into more of a ‘spiritual wellness’ space having launched her new membership product, The Goddess Collective… Figures like Jasmine Hemsley combine nutrition and Ayurveda (yoga’s sister science)…
You’d be forgiven for thinking this was a new wellness craze! But none of these things and ideas are particularly new, it just seems they’re reaching a new market and being taken on by a new ‘generation’ almost…
Wellness and lifestyle bloggers are expanding the areas of content they cover from fitness, fashion, nutrition and health into the spiritual. And I guess that can be quite polarizing for some people, who maybe don’t agree with their ideas, or odd for others who haven’t encountered these ideas yet.
The Big Questions
Religion and myth have been a part of humanity for as long as we’ve been conscious – humans naturally crave explanations for things they don’t understand and the mysteries of the universe.
I’ve been asked recently in a Q&A I did on instagram if I’m religious, and if I think religion and spirituality can help mental health. I didn’t answer it on IG as it needed a fuller post to be honest, it’s a huge topic! So here goes!
My two cents…
Let’s just get it clear that all of these things are deeply personal and we all have to respect that people won’t always agree…!
I am an atheist. I’ve never believed in a creator god, and still don’t. I was made to go to Christian Sunday school as a kid for a bit, but my parents aren’t really Christians either (my grandmother and former stepmum are) but I never believed in it.
I grew up near Glastonbury and so as a teen discovered paganism and Wicca and dabbled for a while for fun, but never seriously believed in it. Yes, I did a couple of Witchy Rituals following Fiona Horne’s books. It’s funny looking back on it now 🙂 However I did learn loads about the pagan tradition, gods and goddesses in all kinds of different traditions, crystals and new age philosophy, and all that jazz. I first started learning to meditate as a teen but stopped and didn’t come back to it til later in life.
I’ve also, with my other half, rejected a lot of the Glastonbury naval gazing and hippyisms as we’ve witnessed first hand how the lack of responsibility and drug culture can mess up peoples’ lives (particularly kids).
At university through literary criticism I discovered philosophy and found myself to be an existentialist. I don’t believe life has inherent meaning, I believe we create it, and have to work to create it and find meaning in things.
I went to Cambodia and Thailand in one of my uni summers and was OBSESSED with exploring the gorgeous temples of Angkor Wat.
I’ve always been interested in world religions, especially Hinduism and Buddhism (and my mum was interest in Buddhism too so I read loads on it as a teenager). I’m fascinated by ancient cultures and indigenous peoples, and love to hear about myths in, for example, Aztec and Mayan traditions, and Japanese and Chinese beliefs.
I got diagnosed with depression in my 20s although I’ve had it my whole life. I remain an atheist and existentialist, but after years of work combining fitness, nutrition, medication and meditation to manage the condition, I started looking wider.
I’m also fascinated by the commonalities between religions, and the ways in which conquering religions like Christianity used existing Pagan holidays to persuade people to adopt their practices more easily.
So where are you now? Do you believe in god or a creator? How does it work with your rational logical side? Does it help your mental wellbeing?
I’m still an atheist.
I’m still an existentialist.
I’m also a Scorpio with Capricorn rising…!
Do I rationally and logically believe in astrology? No. Do I match everything my chart says about being a Scorpio with Capricorn rising? Hell yes! Do I enjoy it intuitively? Yes. Is that a bit of a paradox? Probably, yeah! Whatever!
In Ayurveda, I’m very strongly the pitta dosha. Do I believe this is biologically, scientifically a thing? No… but I can still relate to it, enjoy it, use it to derive meaning and adopt self-care practices…
Not everything, for me, now, has to make clinical sense. At one point I’d have rejected all this. But I think it’s totally fine to do your own personal thing.
If I had to be labeled, I’d be nearer a Buddhist as they don’t believe in an active being, or creator.
I think you can create meaning and fun however you want. I enjoy hearing about different cultures’ believes, I enjoy astrology, I may not rationally believe in tarot but why the fuck not if you like that kinda thing?
Keats was a poet who wrote about ‘negative capability’ – the ability to hold two conflicting thoughts and beliefs at the same time, so why not do that?!
I think generally religion is two things – a source of comfort and guidance to people (nothing wrong with that!) and an attempt to explain things that science has not yet been able to. If you want to enjoy the fictions to bring meaning to life – why not?!!
Given that I don’t believe in a god, I don’t exactly have a being I feel comforted by, or ask for guidance from. But my foraging into meditation and Buddhism has definitely helped me get a grip on my brain and managing my thoughts, emotions and moods.
What are your thoughts?
Let me know what you think about how spirituality is really kicking off in the wellness field, and share your beliefs and practices if you feel comfortable!
Sorry it’s been a little while since the last Inspire Interview… today’s is completely different to the careers we’ve spoken about before, which is why I love doing this series so much… there are so many amazing people doing cool jobs in all kinds of different industries, and talking to everyone about it is great just for me to be nosey, let alone share with you!
I know law is something I get asked about a lot – how do I fit fitness around life as a trainee, for example, so I thought I’d go right to the source and give you a fully qualified lawyer on how she balances all things work, life, workouts and play!
Today’s interview is with the kick ass Rebecca King, who I actually met through our mutual obsession with KOBOX. She very kindly answered some questions on life as a lawyer in one of the biggest US firms in London, and busts some myths about lawyer life, not least that you have to do law at uni – she did THE COOLEST undergrad degree ever… so without further ado –
B: Can you tell us a little bit about the area of law you work in…
R: I work in Debt Capital Markets on bond issuances (for corporates, banks and sometimes sovereigns).
B: What made you become a lawyer? How did you get there – did you do undergrad law or convert later?
R: To be honest, I just thought I’d be quite good at it! I didn’t study it as an undergrad, as I wasn’t 100% decided and knew I had the option of converting later. I studied a subject I loved but doesn’t have much in the way of traditional job applications outside academia – Archaeology and Anthropology. I focused on Biological Anthropology, the study of how humans evolved – I even met Jane Goodall once when she gave us a primatology lecture. I also took papers in Ancient Egyptian Religion, which I’ve always been fascinated by, although I chose not to make Egyptology my main focus because I’ve never been great at languages. If you think French is hard – try hieroglyphics! (I did. I was crap.)
I combined that with some legal work experience and vacation schemes, and I was offered a training contract with my current firm just before I graduated from Cambridge – they then sponsored me through law school.
B: Can you describe a (working) day in the life of RK?
R: As you know, hours and work can be so varied! Officially our working hours are 9.30 till 6 and recently my department has been relatively quiet so that’s been about when I get in and out. I’m about to head to lunch, and today so far I’ve sorted out some postclosing matters for a deal that closed last week, had a kick-off call for a pro-bono matter, reviewed and updated our internal memo on listing procedures for the London Stock Exchange and attended our department quarterly meeting. A pretty average morning!
B: What advice would you give someone looking to become a lawyer? Any advice you were given en route that was helpful?
R: I’d say that the subject of your undergraduate degree doesn’t really matter but your grades and outside interests really do. If you’re a non-law undergrad like I was, you’ll need to prove you’re serious about law even though you actively chose not to study it for your degree, which can be tricky! Definitely get involved with your university law society early on and attend recruitment fairs and law firm presentations, and apply for vacation schemes or open days as soon as you’re eligible – once you’ve attended one, it’s easier to tick that “genuinely interested” box and be accepted for more.
Also – and I think this is true of any industry, not just law – it’s infinitely better to just submit five job applications that you’ve really thought about and tailored to that particular firm than fire off fifty identical cover letters and CVs. Believe me, these firms receive thousands and thousands of identikit applications and anything they think you’ve copied and pasted will be promptly set aside.
B: What are the biggest misconceptions about being a lawyer that you think are out there? Any myths you want to bust (or confirm!)
R: That all lawyers go to court! My sister is at a different firm that specialises in arbitration, and goes all the time. I’ve never set foot in a courtroom outside of a school trip aged 15. I work on deals, not cases!
B: Best and worst bits of the job? Biggest challenges?
R: I work with some great people! Almost all the lawyers I’ve ever worked with have been really clever, fun and interesting people. There’s definitely a certain drive and perfectionism we all have in common but my department is a great place to be and I met some of my absolute best friends through work.
I think the biggest challenge for me personally is the variability of hours. As I’m in a transactional area, I can have two weeks of past-midnight finishes followed by two weeks where I barely bill any time at all. When your bonuses and performance reviews put a lot of emphasis on whether you hit an hours target, slow weeks can be really demoralising and on the flip side busy weeks can mean cancelling really important plans. People tend to be very understanding but ultimately the client calls the shots, and if there’s work to be done and no one else can do it, you just have to put plans aside.
B: I’ve found that people really stress about training contracts (and I know the numbers are tough!) but personally I found being a trainee waaaaay tougher than the application process… any thoughts on coping with the journey to working in law, since it can be super long, super competitive, and of course isn’t always peachy when you’re on a very late deal…?
R: Personally, it’s easy for me to finish a tough week and just flop on the sofa for six hours straight on Saturday and binge watch a show because I’m tired. If you’re like me – my advice is to try not to do that too often, as I’ll then get to Sunday evening and feel like the weekend was wasted. I always try and spend some time with friends, do a workout class, book an event or, if I am sitting in front of the TV, I’ll work on one of my costume projects at the same time – it’s a creative outlet and making something gives me a sense of achievement, even if I did it while watching Netflix! It’s different for everyone but basically my advice is – if you don’t have much time off, really make sure that the time you get to yourself you’re putting towards something or someone you love, rather than just spinning wheels waiting for the next work email to come in or Monday to start.
B: How do you relax and wind down outside of work, and look after yourself generally? Anything that particularly helps you stay balanced?
R: I have a lot of hobbies and interests, and making time for those is really important to me. I love reading – history, true crime (I stayed up till two last night reading the Ted Bundy biography “The Stranger Beside Me” and barely slept a wink!), trashy regency romance novels, fantasy and sci-fi. I’m also listening to podcasts at the moment on my commute – my favourites include “You Must Remember This” (on the forgotten scandals of Hollywood), “My Favourite Murder” and “The Soundtrack Show” (which analyses film soundtracks). TV-wise I love Westworld, Game of Thrones and anything David Attenborough.
I’m also a huge Star Wars geek and in the last couple of years have got into cosplay, so I love researching and making props and costumes in my spare time and attending comic conventions, and I even take lessons in lightsaber fighting! It’s basically a fusion of kung fu and tai chi, except instead of wooden practice swords we use plastic ones that light up. Other sports and activities I love are Kobox (obviously!), skiing, diving, yoga, pilates, hiking and golf. Some weeks I’m busier than others, but for me balance is when I’m happily busy at work but with time for my interests and seeing friends and family.
B: Best and worst career advice you’ve ever been given?
R: Best: people don’t dwell nearly as much on the criticism they give you as you do. I think particularly in law, we’re such perfectionists that any negative feedback can really knock us. Take it, learn from it and try and move on – because the chances are that the person who said it hasn’t thought about it since they did!
Worst: “You can’t wear dangly earrings to work!!” My mum was an incredibly badass accountant-turned-banker in the 80’s when the City really WAS a man’s world, and any sign of femininity was seen as distracting or a weakness – this classic quote was from my first day at work when I was going to wear drop earrings. I don’t think she realised when I started my TC in 2015 how much the world, and corporate dress code in particular, has changed from “her day”. The fact our firm has casual Fridays continues to amaze her, as does the fact I never wear suits (stretchy jersey dresses for the win!)
B: Do you feel like workouts impact how productive you are at work?
R: 100%. I always try to work out in the mornings. It wakes you up, it gets your metabolism going, it clears your head, and ultimately I think it’s great to start the day with a bit of me-time – whether it’s yoga, running or, in my case, punching the hell out of something heavy to some really loud music.
B: If you weren’t a lawyer, what would you be and why?
I honestly don’t know! I always have loved writing and secretly wanted to be a novelist, but I realised early on I wasn’t suited temperament-wise to such a solitary and unpredictable job. I also occasionally daydream of being a guide at a safari camp! Spending all day in the bush and then the evening round the fire with a glass of Amarula listening to the sounds of the wild and chatting to guests from all over the world sounds pretty fun to me. Having said that, I’d probably make it about three weeks without internet access before hotfooting it back to London.
B: Any role models career-wise (whether in law or not)?
R: My mum! She was the first in her family to go to university and then trained as an accountant as one of five women in a class of over 100. She then went into banking and made way more money than my dad for the first 10-15 years of their marriage (which was very unusual then). She ended up giving up work completely to look after me and my sister about the time I started school, but my parents were married for 10 years before they had kids, so she fit in a pretty incredible career before deciding to make that change. People are always shocked to find out my parents’ house is in her name! She’s incredibly driven and hard-working and is an example I try (and fail, a lot of the time!) to live up to.
B: Fave restaurant in City – any great places to take clients you’d recommend people?
R: I go to the Ned a lot and really like their restaurants, but if I’m not eating there I’ll usually head back towards Chelsea to have dinner. Mossimann’s, which is a dining club set in a gorgeous converted church in Belgravia, is the ultimate favourite – unfortunately I can’t go without my dad, as he’s the member, but I always beg to go there on my birthday! I love Rabbit, on the King’s Road, which does incredible seasonal British food tapas-style, and nearly died of happiness when they opened a Sticks ‘n’ Sushi less than two minutes walk from me!
B: And finally, what does ‘success’ mean to you?
It’s kind of abstract but that little fist-pump moment you get when you’ve absolutely nailed something. Whether it’s at work or not, the aim for me is for life to have more fist-pump moments than “d’oh” or “loo cry” moments.
Fave KOBOX combo – I know you go a lot 😉
Uppercuts. When I hit the bag hard enough that it jumps up, it makes me feel like Captain Marvel.
Pancakes or full english?
Full English for sure, I’m a savoury girl!
Burpee or bear crawl?
Oh Christ. Is Miranda reading this? Bear crawl! Definitely bear crawl!
Nature or nurture?
You can’t ask a former anthropology student that question, she’ll spend three weeks agonizing and then give you a 12-page essay that doesn’t even answer it! Like any true-crime aficionado, I’d probably say mostly nurture. But as a cat owner, nature certainly can’t be discounted.
Martini or cosmopolitan?
Martini – I like a citrusy, dry one with a grapefruit twist. But I’d choose a good margarita over either!
Talent or hustle?
Fave latin phrase from law-school?
In vino veritas – definitely learned during law school, although not actually during lectures…
Chocolate or cheese?
Louboutin or Jimmy Choo?
Louboutin, as long as I’m not walking far.
Fave legal drama?
Does Judge Judy count?! Funnily enough for a lawyer I’ve never watched Suits or The Good Wife or anything like that. But my mum always has Judge Judy on somewhere in our house so I have a soft spot for her.
You have to hug, marry and water-balloon 3 kobox instructors – which ones do you choose?!
Marry Miranda, obviously. Hug Joe or Jesse. Water-balloon Jacob (This is 100% revenge and I reserve the right to revise this when he’s back on the timetable permanently!)
It’s your last EVER meal of your life. What do you go for?
Christmas lunch followed by my mum’s EXTREMELY boozy raspberry trifle! With wine. Lots of wine.
Hope that was a useful insight into lawyer life – Bekky is definitely the coolest lawyer I know. Catch her at KOBOX in City most weekdays 😉
So everyone loves a bit of Christmas, right? Mulled wine, fairy lights, chocolate everywhere, epic roast dinners… but it also is the time of year where you’re expected to see EVERYBODY before the New Year, party every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then the day itself can be a political hotbed of family in-fighting!
Or may you have to do a lot of travelling. Or see relations you’re not hugely cool with. Or maybe you have eating issues, or social anxiety and the pressure is just too much.
I get it – our family is craaaaaaaay and this year we’ve opted to hole up at home in London, just me and the Boy and not do the big stressful family tour thing!
I also used to have an eating disorder as many of you know, and now I’m doing #100DaysSober I have had to turn down a LOT of alcohol at client drinks and office and general Christmas parties over this period.
Top tips for staying sane…!
Read on to discover my fave mental and physical wellbeing tips for the festive season, including mental health, food, fitness, alcohol, eating disorders, office parties, and family politics…
Just say ‘no’ to FOMO.
You don’t have to go to every party. Or if you do, you don’t have to stay until 2am. No-one has a gun to your head. Prioritise what YOU want. It’s hard at first, but when you get used to it, it’s empowering.
If you don’t want to go to something, apologise and suggest meeting up at a time more convenient for you (be it Jan, Feb, March, whatever!)
You can be polite and still take care of yourself. And remember: you are responsible for your actions, but not for anyone else’s reactions. That’s on them.
A therapist told me that once and it’s changed my life.
Make some time for you
Remember to schedule in some down time to treat yourself, be it some time to have a long bath, or lie-in, or read alone… whatever you need to re-charge so you don’t feel totally frazzled.
You do you, no explanation needed
If you don’t want to drink alcohol, or eat something, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. A smile and ‘no thank you, I’m fine,’ should suffice. If people push, you can firmly say you don’t want to talk about it.
If you’re hosting parties, take note:
Don’t ask people why they’re not drinking alcohol. It’s not your business.
Don’t ask people why they’re eating / not eating something, or make comments about them being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘treating themselves’ or ‘behaving’ or ‘staying on track’. It’s not your business, and if people do have eating disorders / disordered eating, this is supremely unhelpful.
Meditaaaaaaaate, meditate, meditate
It doesn’t have to be hippy-dippy. Even 5-10 minutes a day on an app like Calm, Headspace, Buddhify or Happy Not Perfect can help you reset, destress and relax. Breathing deeply taps into your parasympathetic nervous system (your ‘rest and digest’) system.
Take the pressure off
Remember, perfection is impossible. There’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas. People may not always get on 100% of the time. Things go wrong, turkeys burn, dogs eat the Christmas cake… c’est la vie.
Try to enjoy spending time with family, time off work, time eating amazing food, and stop expecting a chocolate box picture perfect Victorian Christmas with angels singing, family looking angelic and not annoying each other… don’t set impossible standards for it to live up to.
Christmas is a time to enjoy food. Enjoy it for what it is and don’t stress about weight. The trick is to try and eat when you’re hungry and not gorge when you’re full, or keep picking at quality street.
Savour your food. Focus on the smell, taste and texture. Have whatever you like – but just take it slow, chew it, enjoy it, and stop when you’re full – you can have more when you’re hungry again! This ‘naughty’ mentality means people binge because they feel Christmas is a free pass to be bad, but in reality there’s no good and bad – you just need to listen to your body and appetite, and not go overboard.
Over Christmas, yes there’ll be more off types of food you’d usually try to moderate better – chocolate and cake etc. That’s okay. Don’t sweat it. Just try to eat as mindfully as possible, and focus on getting those vitamins and minerals in as well – lots of veggies with that roast!
Alcohol… *mistletoe and wine*
If you drink alcohol, try to make sure you’re drinking mindfully and enjoying it, not downing the bottle…! And fundamentally, keep hydrating with water as much as possible.
Ideally I guess don’t drink, or limit it to very small amounts, as studies now show there’s technically no ‘safe’ amount of alcohol, but realistically people will drink, and life is for living and enjoying so just drink in moderation, stay hydrated and be safe!
Just remember, alcohol can make you more jittery and anxious, so consume with caution!
I’m not saying you need to rigorously gym over Christmas, but regular walking and a home workout or two (use this site, or apps like Sweat with Kayla, or free youtube videos!) can get rid of that stress and/or lethargy that can accompany the Christmas period. A crisp, Christmassy walk outside in the cold can really clear the head!
Movement is super important for stress, anxiety, depression and mood disorders as endorphins are nature’s happy pill!
Take a deep breath and walk away from family politics
Christmas gatherings aren’t the best place to thrash out serious issues*. Try to smile it out and not engage. Leave the room if you need to. If it’s normal family annoyances and feuds, breathe deeply, go and meditate or walk for a while and move on. You can argue later when you’re calmer, and not in front of all of your relations and likely to upset yourself and multiple others. (Unless it’s very serious: see below!)
*Obviously some things are intolerable, whatever the time of year. So equally take care of yourself, be safe, and you can and should just leave or walk away if something is dangerous or damaging. It’s okay to put yourself first.
Christmas should be a time to reflect on the year and all you’ve accomplished and everything amazing that’s happened, and to enjoy time with family and friends.
(I’m not religious so that’s it for me anyway! If you’re religious I guess it’s extra special!)
Be grateful – for family, friends, presents, food, a roof over your head, an income, a job, your body, the clothes on your back… when you’re truly feeling grateful it’s hard to be properly stressed, and there are people out there far worse off than us. Perspective is all it takes. There’s a lovely meditation called ‘The Universe’ on the app Buddhify, which helps put everything in perspective.
So those of you who also play with me on instagram may have seen that I ended up in hospital on a drip and medicated up last weekend, and it did really shake The Boy & I up and is leading to some massive lifestyle changes, so I thought I’d share details.
I went to some leaving drinks on a Friday night – had a few glasses of wine, got suitably happy… phoned my boyfriend after my last one today I was coming home and getting an uber.
I then (apparently – I don’t remember this!) called him back, barely making sense, saying I felt ill and couldn’t breathe and needed help, and that I was in the bathroom. I then passed out while throwing up, still on the phone to him.
He managed to call someone to come and find me, and they kindly looked after me. At this stage everyone just thought I was drunk, although the Boy has seen me drunk many times over the last 13 years and never seen anything like this. He managed eventually to get 2 different taxis to take us home, half way, then fully (thank god I apparently wasn’t ill in the taxi!)
However, I was throwing up every few minutes, couldn’t breathe properly and my throat was swelling. After I’d been vomiting for 12 hours non stop and my throat was literally visibly massive he realised something was wrong and I had to go to hospital.
We went to A&E and they checked me over and sent me to the minor injuries unit – I was dehydrated and having panic attacks because I couldn’t breathe or stop being sick.
They put me on a drip, did some tests (I hate needles but literally barely even noticed I was in so much pain!), gave me medication and saline solution and kept me in for a while. After 2 litres of fluids and whatever medicine they gave me (I was pretty out of it and not paying attention to be honest!), I started to feel more normal, but super weak.
Eventually after ruling out a few things and finding my blood alcohol level wasn’t high enough for me to be so violently ill, the conclusion was that, most likely, I had a reaction to a specific type of wine.
However, it’s also possible that I’m now intolerant to drinking generally.
To be honest, I really don’t feel like testing it… I am quite happy to never drink again.
I’m a bit confused they didn’t discuss interaction with my current medication with me (I told them multiple times I’m on 20mg fluoxetine daily at the moment) as I know that could have affected things too.
The nurse said she’s sure it’s the brand of wine, but the doctors didn’t specify. Either way… I can’t end up in hospital again, whatever the reason, and I feel awful for scaring the Boy and my family like that, and so I am planning to stay sober. To be honest, given my tendency to use alcohol to feel better because of my depression at the weekends, I never had the healthiest relationship with it anyway, and so I think this is just a great sign / excuse / reason etc to stop drinking altogether.
I received lovely messages from so many of you, so thank you! And also some amazing support from someone who came forward to talk to me about what it’s like giving up drinking and I’m so grateful as I know in the UK it’s not an easy thing – culturally it is pretty unthinkable to the British!
I’m just super grateful for the NHS (all of that amazing, kind treatment was so smooth and efficient, I somehow had a private room, and it all just comes out of general tax and National Insurance that me and the rest of the country pay every month – we’re so lucky this exists!) and also for my health and my body and what our bodies are capable of!
I’m back to my normal self and boxing again after a few days’ recovery, and I know being sober carries a lot of stigma but I’m hoping I can share this with you as part of this wider health and fitness journey – this blog has always been mostly nutrition and workout focussed but lately has moved to cover and be more open about my mental health. Not drinking is something that I think spans all these areas, and so while I’m not for a second saying anyone else has to give it up (I wouldn’t be if I hadn’t been through an allergic/intolerant reaction and been really freaked out I suspect!), I’m hoping my wake up call will inspire people to just be careful of their health, drink sensibly and healthily, ensure you’re not drinking for mental health support (alcohol is a depressant and will not help here although it feels like it does – it’s a slippery slope, friends!) and if you do have an allergic reaction you know to get some help and get yourself treatment ASAP!
Tonnes of love, and any other non drinkers with tips, stories… please connect with me and share as I’d love to hear!
Everyone gets stressed and anxious, some more than others, but pretty much everyone can relate in some way! It’s become such a ‘thing’ (people talk about being busy and stressed and anxious 24/7 these days!) that we’re all looking for easy ways to de-stress all the time. While there aren’t any magic solutions, there are some effective tried-and-tested techniques, all of which help me manage my mood and hopefully will help you manage yours too!
Zen-up your life & feel better for Fall
Wake up early for a workout. This literally kickstarts your day in the best possible way, releases a rush of endorphins, boosts mood and creativity and is great for physical and mental health.
Snooze & hydrate
Make sure you’re getting 7 hours sleep a night, minimum.
Drink water! 80% of the human body is made up of water so it is ESSENTIAL!
Break free from the desk trap
Get away from your desk at any opportunity you can – easier said than done most days, but even a 20 minute walk at lunch, extra trips to the loo or to grab a coffee… movement and a change of scene always helps!
Get ruthless with social media – detox those screens!
Minimise social media usage if it’s making you compare yourself with others. De-toxify your insta and facebook by unfollowing and unfriending anyone who is making you feel bad – it’s not selfish to prioritise your sanity! An instagram cull can be so mentally cleansing if people’s content is irritating, making you envious or feel inadequate, or just isn’t what you want to see! It’s YOUR FEED. You decide.
Cut the caffeine (sorry!)
Reduce caffeine as much as possible – caffeine will amp up your stress levels and elevate your heart rate, and try to stop drinking it after lunch or it will still be in your system when you’re trying to go to sleep – true story!
Rewire your brain & delete ‘perfectionist’ from your vocabulary – rest is valuable!
Sometimes it’s okay to be good enough and not always work the overtime or volunteer for an extra project. Remember that, and rest up. You’re no good to anyone burned out!
Not just for New-Ageys… the science supports yoga and meditation
Yoga and meditation are amazing ways to promote what scientific studies have termed the ‘relaxation response’ – an alteration of your chemical state that is good for body and mind! They also help build resilience and flexibility, both mental and physical.
Fresh air ‘n’ breeeeeathe
Go outside – even just for 2 minutes – if you feel overwhelmed. It can totally shift your perspective, break up the day and give you a second to collect yourself.
Just. Say. NO.
Learn to say no – if you don’t want to go to that social thing, just get out of it and look after yourself. FOMO is so 90s. There’s no need for it!
Ditch public opinion & love yourself
Work on getting comfortable in your skin and not stressing about what other people think about you – whether you do this with yoga, meditation, journalling, sport, art, therapy, or all or none of these – honestly, it’s LIFE CHANGING. At 27 I had some mega realisations about living MY LIFE and liberating myself from being concerned with other peoples’ views of me… and it is honestly insane once you get there in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. Obviously we’re all human and so relapse sometimes, but overall… I promise, you’ll feel amazing.
Re-prioritise… the good stuff
Recognise that work isn’t everything. Once you prioritise your relationships and your loves (be it a boyfriend, boxing, or family) you’ll feel so much more content with life. No-one dies wishing they’d spent more time at the office, however driven.
Nostrils, nostrils, nostrils (pranayama baby!)
Pranayama breathing, aka alternate nostril breathing. Sounds a bit mad, but I love this stuff… try it! It works. Go on. Give it a google.
Cultivate curiosity in new things, be it exploring, or learning a new language. Being stimulated in non-worky non-burnouty ways is so great for stress busting and feeling like you’ve achieved something, and re-invigorating your inspiration levels.
So, there you have it, my favourite ways to stay zen while spinning plates (or try to!) No-one is perfect and no-one can be chill all the time, but the nearer I get to 30 the more I realise what matters to me, and feeling happy and mentally and emotionally healthy is more of a priority than ever – I no longer have the obsession with beating myself up about things and stressing to the max… so I hope this helps you get happier too 😉
So those of you who orbit in the instagram fitness/nutrition universe along with me may have noted the recent controversy surrounding ‘The Carnivore Diet’.
Yup, that’s right, a diet advocating essentially only eating meat (and possibly eggs).
Now you don’t need to be a genius to work out that ANY DIET advocating extremes of ONLY EATING ONE THING or cutting out other major food groups is problematic.
The Nerdy Nutrition Science Bit – why eating only meat is ridiculous
Why? Because we humans need a variety of not only the major building blocks for our bodies, macronutrients – protein, healthy fats and carbs, but we also need the smaller stuff in smaller amounts, micronutrients – all the little vitamins, minerals, things like iron or selenium or Vitamin A etc (see books The Food Medic by Hazel Wallace, Jr Doctor or ReNourish by Rhiannon Lambert, nutritionist).
A picture of optimum health involves a balanced plate, as advocated by Harley Street Nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert – which means eating a rainbow, the easiest way of achieving your micronutrient goals – focus on different coloured fruits and veggies! – and a balance of the macronutrients – palm size of protein, thumb of healthy fat, firstful of carbs (ideally things like wholegrains – brown rice, quinoa etc).
The carnivore diet cannot provide you with these micronutrients, which include antioxidants and phytochemicals, the stuff in certain fruits and veggies which helps influence your epigenome to avoid cancer and other serious health issues.
The carnivore diet is also not providing people with complex carbohydrates, the main nutrient our brains use for energy, not to mention key to the production of seratonin (tryptophan can’t synthesize to make seratonin without carbs people!), often known as the happy hormone, and often considered to be lacking in people with depression.
The carnivore diet is also missing fibre, key for the internal digestive system and weight management, and a critical part of a healthy diet.
“Mrs X tried the carnivore diet and within weeks her cancer was cured!”
“I tried the carnivore diet and my psoriasis cleared right up – nothing worked for years before that!”
“I tried everything to lose weight but only the carnivore diet worked!”
So let’s look at anecdoctal evidence. Someone says something worked for them and people rush out and try it because we all want an easy mircale that provides perfect health – it’s too boring to acknowledge we have it well within our power to exercise, eat balanced meals and control lifestyle factors like stress and sleep!
Anecdotal evidence is an issue because:
They cannot positively know what caused the change without having tested it logically and systematically against everything else: this would mean only having one variable, for an experimental period of time, and keeping everything else EXACTLY THE SAME. Then doing the same to test other factors. To establish ONE THING as a root cause / cure, you need to eliminate the confusion of other factors. So if their sleep, stress, diet, job, commute, anything changed within that period, it has the potential to skew results. How do you KNOW the diet changed things? You can’t reliably separate it from other variables. You also ideally need a control group, and a group which has variables tested to see how patterns emerge, and whether correlations exist at all.
Even if you do test out variables as systematically as possible using the scientific method, you are a sample size of ONE. This is NOT ENOUGH to establish something as true for the rest of humanity. Sample size is key! 1,2,10, 20… they’re all pretty small groups when you think about it!
Additionally, we’re emotionally and cognitively biased towards people we know, so if our best friend says ‘OMG I tried this and it worked for me!’ we’re much more likely to not be questioning and critical and just take things as true, which is an issue!
On a slightly separate note, I find it so frustrating when people say they’ve tried ‘everything’ but just can’t lose weight – this usually means every fad diet, and therefore it’s no wonder! They’re not healthy, they’re not sustainable, they encourage deprivation-binge cycles and disordered approaches to eating, and typically once they’re over people return to their ‘old’ ways without ever wondering if their ‘old’ ways were this issue in the first place! Their version of trying everything doesn’t usually include the unsexy but simple and EFFECTIVE balanced eating, movement, and moderation with treats.
The final thing I wanted to touch on in this post is trolling. Rhiannon Lambert is a highly educated, highly qualified professional, and she came out on social media to denounce this diet (quite rightly!) because it’s making dangerous false promises, not to mention encouraging unhealthy eating habits.
The trolling she received was not ‘healthy debate’ or ‘offering an alternative perspective’. It was personal. It was vindictive. It was unnacceptable. I know that ‘keyboard warriors’ are supposedly emboldened by being hidden behind a screen to say things they’d never say to someone’s face, I know technology ‘de-personalises’ things – but that’s no excuse, not in a million years, to troll, attack, bully and dissect an individual, full stop.
Further, in this case Rhiannon was RIGHT and putting forward a highly qualified professional opinion (although note even people who are WRONG deserve to be treated with respect and dignity!) backed up by PLENTYYYYY of scientific evidence.
If you want to debate in a healthy way, don’t shout, don’t troll, don’t attack. Harness legitimate evidence (so in this Carnivore Diet situation, studies – although there aren’t any credible ones that support it, so you’ll have a hard time), reason logically and calmly, and while being adversarial is okay in THEORETICAL terms – argue with VIEWPOINTS, attack VIEWPOINTS, not people.
Plenty of other nutritionists have come out with exactly the same view, but Rhiannon’s public profile makes her a target for abuse and it’s totally unacceptable.
Are we done now…?
I hope this cleared up a few points on the Carnivore Diet, and why I 100% believe you shouldn’t be following ANY fad diets – as ever, I’m not a qualified nutritionist, but I take my views and everything I’ve written above from my nutritionist who is INSANELY qualified, from other nutritionists, from my personal studies and from scientific journals.
I hope this also highlights why you need to be smart about ‘anecdotal evidence’ and recognise it’s actually just a story and doesn’t prove anything!
And finally, it shouldn’t need to be said, but it seems that it really does in today’s day & age – trolling, bullying and harassing people is just not on kids.
Sending tonnes of love to you all, and to Rhiannon, and here’s hoping that we can share and spread POSITIVITY and arm ourselves with facts and information! Positing new ideas, theories, hypotheses is TOTALLY OKAY but before citing anything as true we need to DO THE RESEARCH!
So I mentioned on instagram recently I’ve been experimenting with Ayurveda. This may or may not come as a surprise to people who know me – I like to think of myself as a healthily open-minded sceptic – I treat all ideas critically, in a balanced way, and am open to changing my mind if people present evidence. It’s a safe and scientific and logical approach… which conflicts a bit with my arts-degree (I was a literature girl) more free-thinking and creative writing side… but I’ve always been contradictory like that (or as I like to think of it, it’s Keatsian ‘negative capability’ mwahaha).
I’ll explain more about ayurveda shortly, but here’s how I’m approaching it.
I’ve fallen into it via modern practitioners who fuse ancient Ayurvedic philosophies with modern Western life and nutrition knowledge. I do believe that it was created 5,000 years ago (yoga’s sister science) for India 5,000 years ago, therefore it doesn’t have to be followed to the letter – for example, lifestyles change, and my environment and culture is different from that of India 5,000 years ago. For example in Ayurveda you should never eat raw foods. That was true in India then (and much of India now!) – salad could make you ill. It’s not the case in London, so you can tweak it based on where you are and also just modernity.
I also believe that modern medicine and science knows a lot more about many things now, so naturally there are inconsistencies.
However, there are some overlaps – like the body types endomorph, ectomorph and mesomorph, for example, correspond with the Ayurvedic doshas – mesomorphs would be dominant in pitta, ectomorph – vata, and endomorph – kapha (see discussion below). In terms of the mental qualities associated with each dosha (more on what these are below!), you can think of these as metaphorical, emotional or psychological illustrations of personality types if you struggle with the pseudo-scientific nature. Just be open-minded with it, I guess! It’s not a science, it’s a philosophical system of wellness… and it’s 5,000 years old, so take or leave what works for you, and where modern knowledge is proven to contradict, that’s fine, but remember – Western medicine responds to disease and treats symptoms and causes. Ayurveda aims to prevent illness arising.
*quick check on cultural appropriation* I am fascinated by different cultures, and you may or may not have seen a discussion I had on instagram recently around the issues of cultural appropriation around yoga in the West, for example. These practices (yoga and ayurveda) are no doubt growing and evolving – they’re not the same as they once were, but I do want to take a second to say I have the utmost respect for the origins of these philosophies, and I’ve done as much research as I can into the history of the practices. I’d like to make clear and acknowledge that it isn’t part of my own heritage, but it’s something I am interested in exploring and I hope my adoption of some of the modern-fusion ayurveda is sensitive and respectful of anyone who does have deep roots in Ayurvedic and Hindu traditions. I know that ‘my’ version, or Sahara’s (see below) aren’t necessarily authentic, but hopefully we can all share in it respectfully and the last thing I would want is for this to offend anyone. Read more about the tradition here, and the Atharva Veda .
With all of that explanation over with to ‘explain’ and satisfy any fellow sceptics, here is why I have kind of fallen in love with Ayurveda, despite my reservations about all things that tend to be embraced by ‘hippy’ types which undeniably eastern and Indian philosophies have been (having grown up around Glastonbury and seen many families hugely disrupted by drugs, dropping out of school and various consequential issues, hippyisms are not something I tend to be a fan of and I feel should be treated with huge caution! Plus they tend to be unchecked appropriation of other cultures, and used as excuses for outrageous lifestyle choices… Rant over, okay, okay!)
(NB: where it conflicts with modern nutritional and scientific knowledge, I’d go with those things. However, on the mental and emotional side it’s more just like an alternative perspective on things, and one I find helpful!)
It’s a romantic and almost mythical way of expressing many things that I think modern science and psychology do tell us too.
It feels intuitive, and places emphasis on living a healthy, balanced lifestyle, with diet and digestion as a cornerstone of wellbeing – which we know to be true.
It helps me make sense of my personality, how I emotionally respond to things (and have responded to past trauma), and how to balance myself out.
I’m inclined to agree it’s more helpful from a mental health and balance perspective than it being a medicine system to cure physical ailments – I wouldn’t ever substitute it for qualified medical advice – but it can certainly support, in my opinion.
I’ve always been drawn to ancient cultures the world over and it’s fun to play with… and there’s no harm in playing and being interested!
It just feels intuitive to me and explains my personality. Whether that’s placebo, or whether modern science and psychology aligns with it or not, if it makes you feel good, what’s the harm?!
What is Ayurveda?
Ayurveda means the ‘knowledge of life’, and is a holistic Ancient Indian system of health and wellbeing. If you google it, the definition you get is:
the traditional Hindu system of medicine (incorporated in Atharva Veda, the last of the four Vedas), which is based on the idea of balance in bodily systems and uses diet, herbal treatment, and yogic breathing.
I found Sahara Rose‘s attitude of choosing the parts of the practice that work for you and work in modern life helpful. You can read her article here about why practicing yoga (although amazing!) is only a tiny step in optimising how you feel – and how ayurveda is the ultimate lifestyle compliment (the two systems go hand in hand, after all!)
As a simple introduction, in Ayurveda the idea is we’re born with a unique combination of the three Ayurvedic doshas – kapha, vata and pitta (the combo you’re born with is your prakruti). Diet and lifestyle and other factors can change this – if you were born vata dominant, for example, you could become more pitta. Your present constitution, if different from your prakruti is your vikruti.
In Ayurveda emotional states, mental and physical ailments etc… basically anything that means you’re not ‘well’ is thought to be because of a dosha imbalance in some way. Too much vata, too little kapha… it can be much more complex than this, but this is a simplified explanation, and ayurveda seeks to provide lifestyle choices and practices people can follow to stay physically and mentally balanced. Certain personality types may prefer different things, and need to bear in mind they should balance themselves (for example I’m a pitta – considered to be driven, fiery, highly motivated, prone to loving caffeine and heavy duty workouts – but I need to balance this with more yin yoga, for example, and slowing down, caffeine and alcohol reduction, even if that’s not my instinct!) A lot of it can be considered common sense! Kaphas are thought to be much more grounded, stable, generous, but also potentially prone to lethargy and weight gain if out of balance… and so more vigorous movement is recommended. (These are just some super simplistic illustrations!)
My experience so far
I’ve found that certain ayurvedic practices, including but not limited to an improved morning routine (including tongue scraping, oil pulling, splashing the eyes 10 times with cold water and abhyanga [an ayurvedic form of self-massage with oil]) to be therapeutic and actually quite uplifting.
I’ve also been trying trying a few of the dosha balancing meditations (discover an indication of your dominant dosha here but for truly accurate results see a practitioner), and making some dosha-balancing lifestyle changes (for example, I am very dominantly pitta – in both body and mind – so rather than stick to my go-to agressive coffee consumption and power yoga, I’ve incorporated more deep breathing, some very gentle yin yoga, and calming herb teas).
Studies have shown (I was reading a scientific paper from a journal on the train about exactly this today!) that meditation, yoga (and other activities like reading, qu gong, tai chi) etc. are beneficial for health and mind because they promote the relaxation response which has a positive biological impact – reduced oxygen consumption, blood pressure, heart rate and changes to regions of the brain whose names have escaped me just now! Activities like this positively influence our epigenetics (the parts of our DNA that switch cells on and off essentially – determining which bits of our DNA are used!) On a similar note, exercise is another lifestyle factor that can alter your DNA (as can nutrition, stress levels, exposure to toxins…) and you can read more on the science of that here.
However, whether or not there are tangible benefits you can derive from ayurveda (and anecdotally there do seem to be, although clearly when people like me try things, we’re not doing a controlled study so it’s hard to establish a reliable causal link), to me, it’s all about how you feel and if it has a positive impact on your life and general wellbeing… and this definitely is for me!
I also just did a quick 8 week short course called Self Care and Ayurvedic Nutrition to learn more, and it has given me some great practices that really help me manage stress and my mood, plus some delicious recipes.
What do you think?!
I’d love to hear your comments on this, and any philosophies or lifestyle changes that you find work for you!
Sahara Rose Ketabi, Ayurvedic Practitioner, Holistic Health and Sports Nutrition Coach on dosha-sports science parallels:
Some of us have increased development of the ectodermal layer, contributing to a more active nervous system and faster catabolism (the breakdown of muscle tissue.) This makes make us more naturally small-boned, full of thoughts, sensitive to external surroundings and energy, and often cold — exactly like a Vata.
Vata is regulated by Ether and Air energy, regulating the nervous system as well. Vatas are thin-bodied, dry-skinned, bold-bodied, hypersensitive to their surroundings, and imaginative. When they’re off balance, they can become anxious or anemic. I often compare Vata to the Fall wind — cool, dry, creative, and a little bit all over the place.
If you are an Ectomorph/ Vata, then I recommend consuming a more warming, grounding foods like soups, stews, and proteins. Avoid too much cold, raw food, which will cool down your already weak digestive fire. Make sure you stretch your body to prevent it from getting stiff and practice strength-training exercises. Practice more mindfulness.
Others of us have increased development of the mesodermal layer. We’re naturally more muscular, prone to stress, with strong bones and appetites — just like a Pitta.
Pitta is comprised of Fire and Water energy, controlling transformation — metabolism, digestion, assimilation, and muscle development. Pittas are naturally athletic, high-achieving people with strong work ethics (and appetites). When they’re off balance, they can become impatient, overheated, or agitated. I often compare Pitta to the summer — hot, fiery, and passionate!
If you are a Mesomorph/ Pitta, I recommend consuming more cooling, hydrating foods like fresh fruit and leafy greens. Avoid spicy food, caffeine, and chocolate, which are all too stimulating and heat-inducing for your already hot system. Be careful not to overexert yourself and become overly competitive. Practice yin yoga and meditation regularly.
And there are those of us with increased development of the endodermal layer. We may have slower metabolisms and digestions and are prone towards respiratory issues, exactly like the Kapha Dosha.
Kapha is comprised of Earth and Water energy, regulating structure, body tissue, and bone structure. Kaphas are peaceful, easy-going, good-natured, people. When out of balance, however, they can easily become overweight and lazy, and catch colds frequently. I like to compare Kaphas to the Spring — cool, wet, and dense.
If you’re an Endomorph/ Kapha, I suggest favoring light, stimulating foods like well-spiced quinoa, steamed vegetables and bitter greens. Avoid sweet, cool, and creamy foods like ice cream or pasta, which will make your sluggish digestive system even slower. Make sure you break a sweat every day to prevent yourself from becoming lethargic. Try something new every day.”