4 simple tips: become more CONFIDENT

mountains nature sky sunny
Photo by Stokpic on Pexels.com

Anytime I see posts and articles about this I find it SO INTERESTING because I feel like we all get insecure sometimes and want to be a little more confident.

I’m a super shy person. Always have been. But I am less painfully shy than I used to be, to the point where now often people don’t believe I’m shy (maybe they think I’m awkward instead hahaha…!)

Confidence is this weird thing, right? You see people who literally are just so free and don’t give AF and are able to share their ideas, boss something in the gym without embarassment or speak up at work… I’ve often wished I could buy it in a bottle (champagne doesn’t count if you wanna keep your job guys!)

In my first job at Vouchercodes.co.uk, a lot of ‘pitching’ was involved – and I had to deliver the pitches myself. I was 21, super shy, not at all confident, I felt inadequate and ridiculous, and could barely speak in internal meetings, let alone with clients! We also had to present in company-wide meetings weekly, and it nearly gave me a heart attack.

I’ve always hated public speaking. I’d shake – as in PHYSICALLY SHAKE. I’d feel sick. I’d cry on the phone to my dad every morning.

But you know what? Being forced to do it again and again means that 1) I know if forced, I can… I even gave a speech at a wedding a couple of years ago! and 2) where speaking in a meeting of 3-10 people used to terrify me, now I know how to do it.

How?

Practice, basically. I’d practice my pitches to my boyfriend, on the phone to my dad, I’d set up meetings with my boss to practice with her, I’d listen to her and make notes on how she did it… and then the worst bit was just making myself do it.

To help, I qualified to teach fitness so I had to stand up in front of a class so I could learn to do it somewhere I enjoyed. And it really, really helped. But you have to decide to put the work in.

All of that ground work is the only reason I could go to an interview at a magic circle law firm and get a job as a lawyer, because if I’d gone in post-graduation at 21, I’d have fallen to literal bits and been a nervous wreck.

I mean, I’m still an introvert, I like to recharge solo as much as possible rather than socialise, and that’s totally okay! I can still be awkward and weird hahaha… but I got over that crippling shyness and if I managed to, anyone else can too.

So here are my tips! And yes, ultimately it really is a case of fake it (or try!) until you make it!

1. Stop hiding behind the ‘it’s just my personality, I’m shy’

This is tough love, I know. I used to have panic attacks about doing public speaking, and I’ll never love it. BUT if you repeatedly practice exposing yourself to uncomfortable situations, you WILL adapt. Be gentle with yourself, do it gradually, you don’t have to be too mean to yourself. But the big key is to stop making excuses and decide to make a change. The way to start is to jump in and practice whatever it is that makes you uncomfortable. 

Set small goals initially. Baby steps. Then as you get into your stride, you can take the leaps and bounds.

Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.

2. Physical strength builds mental strength

Did you see this one coming? 😉 Fitness is amazing for releasing feel-good hormones (endorphin pump is REAL y’all) but it also shows you the power of practice – little by little you increase strength and/or cardio fitness and it shows you change IS possible, which should give you the confidence to keep trying new things!

I did a Kayla Itsines leg workout the day of my training contract interview and it literally saved me hahaha!

3. Re-train your brain: the long bit!

How much time do you spend worrying about what other people think about you? I read an amazing book called The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k and it suggested you have a think about the important things in your life that you DO and are WILLING to give a fuck about. Anything not on that list? It’s not within your fuck budget. Let that shit gooooooo!

How your life feels to you is more important than how it looks to other people

Trust your own choices and stop talking to yourself in a negative way in your head. Try just repeating (silently or aloud!) ‘I CAN do this’ or something similar. It sounds super American and cheesy but when your habit is to tell yourself you CAN do something instead of saying you CAN’T, it does make a massive shift in your mindset.

Too scared to try something in the gym? Feel stupid, watched, embarassed? Re-train your thought process to be like SO WHAT? What’s the worst that could happen? They’d laugh at you? (I guarantee the other people there won’t, they’re too busy doing their own workouts, but even if they did…) Worse things happen at sea, guys.

The ego likes to try and protect us from laughter or scorn from others, but I think as a result it goes into overdrive and makes us think 99% of the time people are judging us when actually they don’t really care or even notice what we’re doing! Your opinion and that of those you love (and maybe the person who pays you!) is the only one that counts. Let everything else go. Even if the worst case scenario comes true and you’re super embarassed – so what? Once you start approaching things this way, and not minding looking silly, you’ll 100% feel liberated.

I used to experiment with my hair tonnes as a kid, but my dad’s side of the family always made comments about it, and gradually I think I stopped wanting to experiment. I started to think I had to have long hair to prove I was a girl (?! wtf ?! seriously ?!) as comments would often be about short hair being ‘boyish’. As my EDs got stronger and my confidence got lower, I felt like I was way too ugly for short hair and needed long hair to distract from it. How crazy is that?!

So, recently, (and also once a year and a half ago!) I chopped all my hair off again from my boobs to my collarbone, and it’s super liberating… and I now don’t care what anyone else things, apart from me and my boyfriend basically!

Basically, work, fitness, gym, wherever… there’s a bit of work to be done on realising that you just need to go with your gut. And if it all goes wrong and you look silly… you’re not dying, you’re still alive and have soooo many good things going on… so focus on that ❤

Admittedly some of it comes with age too. The nearer  I get to 30, the better able I am to shake off anyone who bugs me and stick to my fuck budget 😉

Books for this process that I’d recommend (although you may have to take with a pinch of salt as they can get a bit too hippyish, but I do still love them!) are Life Tonic by Jody Shield and Hungry For More by Mel Wells.

4. Daily meds*

*meditations, of course!

Whether you hate the idea of meditation as woo woo, you’re a hippy spiritual moon-child or [insert other extreme here], meditation has been proven by various reputable scientific studies to have a positive effect on the brain due to its promotion of the ‘relaxation response’, a physiological change in the body as a result of the ‘relaxed’ state.

So. For the purposes of confidence, meditation’s mention here is twofold:

  1. it teaches you increased focus, which makes you better able to let go of nagging, negative thoughts like ‘I can’t do this, I’m too scared, I’m too shy, I’m too anxious, why is everyone else more confident/smarter/prettier/cleverer than me…’ and breathe, and master your emotions.
  2. it connects you better with yourself and your thought patterns, and by being more present with yourself, you eventually come to realise that you’re not your thoughts… you’re the observer of your thoughts. So you can actually create change and not let thoughts control you, but also it should increase your ability to spend time with yourself, feel good within yourself and actually (god forbid if you’re British) LIKE YOURSELF. Like, what is this madness?!

Also, her style may not be for everyone, but Jody Shield does a meditation series (with a track specifically relating to confidence) if you fancy giving it a try. Despite my atheist and decidedly not spiritual views, I really like her stuff – I find her voice super relaxing.

So, how are we feeling?

Hopefully some of these help a bit… Would love to hear any more you can add!

Also check out this piece on how to be confident by Rose The Londoner and this FREE fierce confidence workshop / livestream replay with Jody Shield to help you get started!

B xoxo

You may also wanna browse:

Ways to boost body confidence on bad days – without working out!

Careers section – Inspire Interview Series plus work tips, resources and confidence building

Body Confidence: talking about taboos, fat loss and some tips!

How to stay motivated to fit in workouts with an office job

Motivation 101: get it and keep it

Is it vain to have a fitness instagram?Is it vain to have a fitness instagram? + dangers of social media

Sparkle: resources to find yours

#Inspire Interview 5: MEL WELLS (actress, best-selling author, speaker, food & psychology coach!)

 

 

Advertisements

Life Chat: changing your name, marriage & feminism

So this isn’t a fitness or nutrition post by ANY stretch of the imagination, but I often blither on with lifestyle nuggets on here don’t I, so we’ll squeeeeeeze this into that and call it content, shall we?!

To change or not to change? That is the [feminist] question…

adult bridal bride brunette
Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

In all seriousness, I wanted to share this post for a few reasons –

  1. it’s something I struggled with before making my decision!
  2. I have friends going through the same thing and making choices right now
  3. feminism is something innately important to me, my fiance, my friends, practically anyone I’m close to, so why miss an opportunity to bang on about it?

I guess I first ‘woke up’ to feminism at university whilst studying English Literature and being introduced to feminist theory, as well as the writings of various key people – Mary Wollenstoncraft, Virginia Woolf, Judith Butler, Simone de Beauvoir… because in Somerset it wasn’t really a thing, everything was very white, middle class patriarchal and let’s say ‘local lads’ expressed distaste for feminism (one of the reasons I tend to find going back to the South West a real struggle, and I’ve been known to cause a scene in our local pub over it when some bloke at the bar thought it was acceptable to play with my top and bra strap… I don’t think so!)

I’ve subsequently spent quite a bit of time swinging like a pendulum – “I’d NEVER change my name if I get married” (my struggles with the institution of marriage itself are something we’ll save for another time, but I don’t need to say much more than I’ve attended 3 of my parents’ weddings, none of them to each other…!) but I also LOVE the idea of transformation, I’m names-and-characters obsessed (hey, writer!) and I have gone through periods of liking the idea of a name change.

I found myself, once engaged after a ridiculously perfect proposal in Santorini, torn. My feminist principles dictated I shouldn’t change my name, right? It’s a relic of patriarchal possession, being passed from father to husband.

My love of name changes, characters, transformation and identity shifts, not to mention the cliched, unoriginal, but [un]fortunately true fact that I quite like my actual fiance (shocker!) also stirred an irrational, compelling urge to take his last name.

And at other times, I wavered, hedged, sat on the fence, grappled with it all, and wanted to double barrel.

Conflicted, I spoke to an old friend, Joy, who is far, far more intelligent than I will ever be, and also a feminist. It sounds odd, but I almost needed permission from someone smarter, entire galaxies more articulate and lightyears more well-thought-out than myself, who I knew also believed wholeheartedly in feminism… plus, I happened to know she’d gotten herself married, and chosen to change her name.

I felt like I needed to know how her much more capable mind reconciled the disparate fragments of this socio-political-emotional-mental-minefield.

couple hugging each other
Photo by Studio 7042 on Pexels.com

Ultimately, she told me what I suppose I’d reasoned out in various, wriggly, squiggly lines and tangled trains of thought, and stumbled across in various things I’d read both online and off, but needed permission to believe.

Feminism is about choice.

Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women.

If you rail against feminists making a ‘patriarchal’ choice to change their last name upon marriage, it is worth pointing out that keeping your current name is no more feminist because (with few exceptions, like the Spanish way!) naming conventions dictate you ALREADY have a partiarchal name – your father’s.

Not doing something you really want to do, because you feel it violates feminist principles, is actually in itself violating those principles.

There is, these days, nothing to stop you changing, or keeping, or double-barrelling your name – which is now the exact position men have always been in. Just because they chose not to change their names historically does not mean you have to make the same choice now. You have the option. Which is great.

If you want to change your name, you are no less feminist for doing so. In fact, if you don’t, you’re pretty much cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Similarly, if you don’t want to change your name, you are not a freak, a pariah, someone who shouldn’t be getting married at all… it is just as valid, just as legitimate…

So what did I do?

You probably already know by now that I double barrelled, and I made this change legally before getting married (we’re not getting married for a year or so yet either, no official date set… #superchilled) in large part because, practically speaking, it made sense for me to start my new law career under the name I intended to change to.

Ultimately, the Boy would also have double barrelled, ideally, for symmetry and whatnot (he was totally up for this), but given that he was already working under his name and known by it, we decided practicality trumped symbolism and all that jazz, and he continues with his name.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how something that’s a symbolic act means so much and yet so little at the same time…

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter to the world, but it matters to you. It doesn’t have to mean anything, so you can toss a coin if you really want, but it equally can mean quite a lot, particularly if you like the idea of shedding or gaining parts of an identity, or if you’re particularly romantic about the whole thing… whatever. The gist of this post is:

Feminism. Not. A. Stick. So stop beating yourself up with/about it…

PS. F*ck the patriarchy…

B xoxo

If you’re thinking of changing your name and need reassurance that it is still feminist, as some people do, try this article for size… it’s not Pulitzer prize winning journalism or particularly well written but I like the gist of it ❤

blonde hair blur daylight environment
Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

#6 Inspire Interview Series – ALICE MAY PURKISS – FREELANCE WRITER & COPPAFEEL TRUSTEE

mel
Alice May Purkiss, Photo credit: What’sOnDarlington.co.uk

I’m so grateful for some of the interviews I’ve been able to do as part of this Inspire Interview Series – it’s mind-blowing to see the range of different but reeeeeally cooool shizz people can do when they put their minds to it! If you missed any of the previous installments, they’re all collated here on my careers page, so go and check them out!

Today, though, we have an incredibly special Q&A with a phenomenal woman tackling, among other things, proving publishers wrong, writing books, kicking cancer’s ass – in other words, grit and life wisdom from a gorgeous girlboss warrior.

I think  ‘career inspo’ style pieces can end up being very glib, trite, very ‘yeah! postivity woo, follow your dreams!’ and I wanted to make sure I’m sharing real stories, real experiences with breadth and depth and struggle as well as glossy corporate fairytale stories, so today I think this much deeper, harder, more real interview than any featured so far in this series is the most important – it’s definitely affected me the most of the pieces so far, and I hope you all find what you need from it too ❤

Alice May Purkiss (author of Life, Lemons & Melons, out later this year)

While already battling depression, Alice was diagnosed with cancer. Ultimately, she kicked its ass and survived it, and continues to document her journey on social media (@Alicemaypurkiss) and she has written some incredible pieces on her experience and given a range of speeches and workshops. She is now a freelance writer, self-published author, trustee for Cancer Charity CoppaFeel and much, much more.

Upon being told by publishers that her social media following wasn’t big enough to publish her memoir about her experience of cancer, depression, and everything in between, Life, Lemons and Melons, Alice successfully crowdfunded the project, sourced illustrators and singlehandedly proved them wrong (click here to pre-order now!) She now works as a freelance writer and has written for Stylist, Metro, Red Online to name a few.

I wanted to share as much as possible of the insights from this awesome human with you, both life lessons, career and writing, because I think we all struggle with figuring out what we’re doing, where we’re going, career stuff… but this is a girl who did it / is doing it while simultaneously frying much, MUCH bigger fish… so without further ado, let’s go over to Alice.

The lesson is this: depression or no depression, PTSD or no PTSD, cancer or no cancer, any emotions you are feeling are valid. You’re feeling them for a reason. We’re all guilty of shutting ourselves down when we’re experiencing emotions that feel more intense than we’re used to. But they are part of the human experience. They are part of what it is that makes us a human. Without sorrow we cannot know joy. Without loss we cannot know gratitude. I know it sounds trite. I know it sounds a bit airy fairy, a bit wishy washy and probably a bit like I’ve read too many books on feelings but we are consistently told to keep our emotions in check because we are scared of how our feelings will be perceived. But if your emotions are on extra loud, for whatever reason, sit with them for a while. Don’t try to get rid of them. Recognise them. Learn from them. – Alice May Purkiss, Life, Lemons & Melons

B: Please could you give a little intro of your journey of the last few years for anyone who doesn’t know you from social media?

A: Writer. Avid eater of food. Northerner on loan to London. Feminist. Had a run in with breast cancer. Trustee for .

B: You’ve been through an incredibly difficult ordeal and what’s been amazing about following your journey is how you’ve managed to transform some of that into a force for good, with your advocating for women checking their breasts for lumps [#CheckYourChebs], writing your book Life, Lemons and Melons, speaking at various events and sharing your experiences… do you have any advice for people struggling with similar (or different but difficult) situations?

A: Life is tough. We are consistently thrown curve balls that keep us on our toes and these can have long lasting and far reaching effects. But there is nearly always some good to be found in the difficult situations, it’s just about switching your view up so you can see it. And it’s important to remember that while every day might not be good, better days will come. Like the sunrise and the sunset, time is constantly moving and the world is always changing, so you won’t feel like you do now forever.

B: This seems like a stupid question as it must change so much, but how has your journey with breast cancer and everything you have to deal with as a consequence changed you and your perspective on life, looking after yourself, and work?

A: I get asked a lot if being diagnosed with breast cancer has changed me – and the honest answer is I really don’t know. Some days I feel like the same person I was before I got sick, other times I feel like a completely different human. I’m a bit of a contradiction really because sometimes it makes me more cautions and other times it makes me more adventurous. I think the best way to describe it is I’m a bit like a twin of myself – with the same basic DNA (minus the cancery cells) but with tweaks to my personality and my outlook. I’ve always been “work to live” rather than “live to work” and this is SO MUCH WORSE now, which is a blessing in many ways but also means I need to give myself a kick up the arse a lot more than I used to. And in terms of looking after myself, this has become completely crucial to me. My body has been battered and bruised and my brain has taken it’s fair share of a battering too – so things like yoga and meditation have taken a bigger priority in my life than ever before.

B: Can you talk a little bit about your process and experience of writing your book Life, Lemons and Melons?

A: The process of writing Life, Lemons and melons has been a pretty long one. I started my “journey” towards publishing this book about 18 months ago, when I secured an agent and he began talking to publishers about my work. They felt that despite the fact that they loved my idea and my writing, I didn’t have a big enough social media following for them to take a punt on me. So I decided to stick it to the man and do it anyway. I launched a Kickstarter and raised £5000 in 30 days last October and since then I have been knee deep in the writing trenches, driven on by nought but my own perseverance and the 176 investors who chose to believe in me with their hard earned dollar. As the book combines a number of difficult topics, it’s taken me quite a lot of time to geth through the chapters, and it’s really important to me that I am looking after myself while writing, so I’ve taken my time and tried not to put too much pressure on myself to get it done. I also have to be in a very particular place mentally and emotionally to write it so I don’t make my way into a mental nosedive, so I have to be really careful. 

B: You moved from a marketing role to going freelance and writing your book – any tips for people looking to do the same?

A: Take your time – don’t rush. The move doesn’t need to happen immediately. Start putting some feelers out for freelance work before you take the plunge and leave your job. And don’t be scared of the peaks and troughs that come with being a freelancer – there are many and they never get easier but where there are troughs there are always peaks.

B: Can you describe a (working/writing) day in the life of Alice Purkiss?

A: God I’m so bad at sticking to a particular schedule so it varies massively from day to day. I still struggle with fatigue so I don’t usually rush out of bed – even if I’m awake (which I usually am) I don’t get up til about 8.30 or 9, then I’ll get my breakfast, have a wash and start my day at 10am, unless there’s anything in particular that needs to be done first thing (usually dealing with social media clients or responding to emails). Then I usually work for a few hours on whatever projects I have on, whether social media management, writing pieces I have been commissioned for, doing the copywriting work that pays the bills or banging out some words for the book. I usually work til around 2 or 3pm. But this can all change if I have an event to go to, or a meeting to attend, or if I want to go for a swim, to yoga or to another exercise class.

B: What has been the most challenging part of going freelance and working for yourself?

A: Being kind to myself when things are difficult financially. Freelancing is so variable – some months I have lots of work coming in, others I don’t. That’s just the way it is for most freelancers but I have a tendency to tell myself I’m not doing enough, not trying hard enough, should be doing more etc etc. So working on treating myself better and learning to relish the downtime has been a big learning curve.

B: You’ve been very open about your struggles with depression before and during your breast cancer, and the importance of mental health which is so inspiring and I’m sure has helped so many people. What would you say to someone who is suffering and needs help or advice?

A: It’s such a hard question because everyone is so different but I think my number one piece of advice is that the sun will come out again. Better days are coming. You will know lightness again. Just hang in there. Kind of reminds me of this section I wrote in the book:

“There is one key thing I have learnt over the last three years. I think this lesson has partially occurred as a result off my extensive CBT and counselling but partly just as a result of living through a trauma and probably as I approach 30 and develop a bit of hindsight on the life that has gone before me. The lesson is this: depression or no depression, PTSD or no PTSD, cancer or no cancer, any emotions you are feeling are valid. You’re feeling them for a reason. We’re all guilty of shutting ourselves down when we’re experiencing emotions that feel more intense than we’re used to. But they are part of the human experience. They are part of what it is that makes us a human. Without sorrow we cannot know joy. Without loss we cannot know gratitude. I know it sounds trite. I know it sounds a bit airy fairy, a bit wishy washy and probably a bit like I’ve read too many books on feelings but we are consistently told to keep our emotions in check because we are scared of how our feelings will be perceived. But if your emotions are on extra loud, for whatever reason, sit with them for a while. Don’t try to get rid of them. Recognise them. Learn from them. Don’t beat yourself up for not reacting the “right” way to something. There is no “right” way. Remind yourself you’re doing the best you can. And if the intense emotions you’re feeling are horrible or scary, find someone to sit with them with you, someone to hold your hand and remind you that everything’s going to be ok. I think every emotion comes to teach us something. We just have to be open to learning.”

B: What does 1) ‘happiness’ and 2) ‘success’ mean to you?

A: 1) Living well and making the most of the life I’ve been given and sharing it with people I love

2) Managing to do the above!

B: What’s your life’s mission in a nutshell?

A: My life’s mission in a nutshell is to do my bit to help stamp out late detection of breast cancer by educating the masses on the signs and symptoms that you should be looking out for when you do your monthly check (that’s why I volunteer with CoppaFeel!). I want people who are struggling with their mental health to know that they are not alone – that they can talk when they are ready and things will get better. I want those people to know that the world is better with them in it. I want to tell stories and go on adventures, to laugh, to be happy and to be healthy for as long as possible

***Quickfire***

Swimming or running?
SWIMMING. Every time.

Breakfast, lunch or dinner?
Dinner (or tea as we call it in the North)

Forests or beaches?
Beaches near forests?!

Nature or nuture?
Nature

Talent or hustle?
Talent

Chocolate or cheese?
Chocolate

Fave self-care ritual?
Yoga

A good book or netflix?
Book

Fave quote:
“Let me live, love, and say it well in good sentences” The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath

Tea or coffee?
Neither. I am a traitor to my Yorkshire kin.

Avocado toast: ridiculous or delicious?

DELICIOUS

Who would attend your dream dinner party (living or dead, fictional or real!)
GOOD ONE. Erm. Margaret Atwood, Bryony Gordon, my Grandma, Zadie Smith, Jon Ronson and Adam Buxton.

The best meal in the world is…
My husband’s mum’s roast ham Sunday dinner with all the trimmings. It’s honestly the best ham I’ve ever tasted. But I also bloody love seafood so anything fishy works for me.

Thanks SO MUCH Alice for sharing all of this, and I can’t wait to read your book!

Check out Alice on social media via the below links, and please do spare a minute to browse the CoppaFeel website and don’t forget to not only #CheckYourChebs but remind all of the lovely ladies in your life to do the same (breast cancer signs and symptoms explained here).

Spend more time with Alice over on her website, instagram, twitter, and read more about Life, Lemons & Melons, out later this year here.

You can also PRE-ORDER her book, Life, Lemons & Melons now for just £10 – click here!

B xoxo

Boobs, cancer, questions, queries…?

If you have any questions or concerns, whether you want to donate or have worries about your own health… have a look at the CoppaFeel website and other relevant charities but please do not hesitate to book a boob check, and speak to a qualified health professional. Other resources include:

Signs & Symptoms of breast cancer – CoppaFeel

Cancer Research UK

Breast Cancer Now – resources

 

My daily routine – how fitness, full-time work & life can co-exist

person holding white ceramic teapot on white wooden surface
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

These posts are always a bit strange I guess – my fiancé laughs at them because he’s like ‘who cares about your daily routine?’ He’s kind of not wrong… does anyone care?! Possibly not.

But I kind of do – I love reading them. I guess I’m just nosey – and it’s an easy way to understand how people who seem like they’re always at the gym or always at work or whatever actually do with their time in reality. Fair enough if you’re not interested in the boringness of my daily routine – dial out now!

Sometimes I’m asked how I find the time to read, or workout, and the reality is everyone prioritises things they want to or have to I guess. I don’t go out a lot, and my job and fitness commitments mean I don’t go out in evenings during the week… so it’s just each to their own! Whatever makes you happy. This post should give you an idea.

Side note – I also don’t really believe in work-life ‘balance’; everything you do is part of your life… you just need to build and tweak and make sure you’re healthy and happy with how you’re spending the majority of your days. I moved from marketing to law to get more out of my career, so work is important to me.

Anyway, here’s my daily routine – as standardised as possible, with indications of how it can vary! NB: This is assuming work is fairly normal and nothing big is kicking off. If work hours go longer in the evenings, I make sure I’m doing my workouts every morning instead of the chill time at home – you’ll get an idea as you read.

PS. It should go without saying but nothing in this post is sponsored, it’s all just my preferences!

6.15am

First alarm goes off. I DEFINITELY SNOOZE IT. It goes off every 2 minutes or something like that. I’m not a morning person but now I’m nearer 30 than 25 it is getting a bit easier! Fractionally.

6.35am

I just have to snooze past 6.30 but finally get up. Sometimes I pop on activewear and head straight to city for KOBOX or to the gym near work (if work hours are longer in the evenings I switch all my workouts to these morning ones), but hours are good right now, so often I just do 15 minutes of yoga in my PJs or an ab or Tone it Up or Kayla home workout.

6.55am

So at this point I either finish my yoga or home workout and have a quick shower, with a cold blast as although I hate a cold shower, it does seem to boost my mood and has alleged benefits – Max Lowery is a big advocate!

Alternatively, I’m walking 15 minutes to a further tube station to head to my morning gym workout or KOBOX class during this time!

7.05am

If I’m still at home, I do a 10 minute facial. This is a relatively new skincare routine and twice daily ritual for me – part of my new skincare obsession. I cleanse [my current one is Pretty Athletic Purifying Gel Cleanser], massage, and do face yoga. Every other day, I then also do a facial massage with some Rituals Pure Face Oil. It sounds like a faff and indulgent, but I love this little me-time ritual – it makes me feel pretty great and I do it instead of makeup.

At the moment I go barefaced to the office. Sometimes with a slick of lip colour if I fancy (usually a nude, pink or coral for day but red is my favourite, though less work-appropriate – sometimes I rock it anyway though!) Occasionally if I’m feeling very ‘ugh’ I’ll pop on some under-eye concealer but I try to go naked-face as much as possible! My skin feels soooo much nicer this way.

7.20-8.00am

So I’m either still travelling to City if it’s a morning KOBOX day as I mentioned, or if at home I make breakfast – these days, a green smoothie is my favourite, or a smoothie bowl… In colder months, I go for oats microwaved with water, and berries. Its unusual for me to make eggs on a weekday but occasionally eggs, tomato and spinach scramble might occur!

I eat this and drink my coffee (we have a really useful Nespresso machine that changed my life!), read a magazine… Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Vanity Fair or Elle are all my staples! I know some people hate magazines, but I find them really relaxing and I even love the artistic ads in Vogue. I’m obsessed with art and language and the idea of transformation… and I love a celeb interview here and there. And so I read these while I eat and make the most of my me-time, pretty much! (Boy will already have left for the gym at like 6.15am!)

I leave the house at 8 sharp and do the 15 minute walk to a further tube station for some LISS, listening to my fave podcasts Talking Tastebuds and The High Low.

8.15am

I arrive at the tube, and duck underground to travel to work. Often I get a seat, but if not I know I’ll get one when everyone heads off at Oxford Circus. This is where I do my reading – on the train at the beginning and end of each day. Join me with my book club here.

Alternatively, if I left for a morning workout, this is when my KOBOX class starts! I have to get up too early (5.30!) to make it to the 7.15 so I do the 8.15 and skip the cool-down to rush to work instead.

9.00am

I’m either about to skip the KOBOX cool down and shower and run to work (picking up a KOBOX shake for breakfast en route!) or I’m already at my desk with a coffee picked up from Nude or Rapha or The Department of Coffee and Social Affairs… yes, I like my snob coffee as well as being a bit of a health w*nker!

I don’t start work til 9.30 technically but I like half an hour or more to get started slowly, chat to colleagues, browse the Financial Times, plan my day and get into a good headspace. If I’ve KOBOXed I tend to rush in at 9.20… it always stresses me out though! Usually I’m in by 8.50am.

I always fill my 1 litre Kayla Itsines water bottle (I didn’t buy it, I got it free at one of her meet-ups years ago!) and make sure I’ve drunk this by lunch time! I get through about 3 of these a day. It lives on my desk and I’m constantly sipping and re-filling.

9.30am

Work starts, but I’m already working and sipping my water and coffee and chiiiill 🙂

10.45am

This is a guess time-wise but I get up to make a green tea every morning at some point! Otherwise I’ma justa workin’.

12.30am

I used to pop for lunch upstairs with friends & colleagues but I actually prefer to get outside the office for a walk now – either eating my pre-prepped lunchbox quickly at my desk or nipping to Vitamojo for a quick lunch grab, then getting in a 20 minute walk outside at the moment if I’m honest… I recharge best this way and it feels like more of a ‘break’. I often wander over to Planet Organic and grab a green smoothie if I’ve had a small lunch, or pick up a kombucha for an afternoon ‘snack’.

1.00pm

Often I meet a friend and colleague on my way back to work to grab our afternoon coffee (from the places I mentioned earlier) to take back to the desk! Mine is always a black Americano or black filter – I have a MAJOR milk phobia!

1.05-1.10pm

Back at the desk… more water bottle re-filling and drinking will happen all afternoon – I actually love water. Weird, huh?

4pm

I’m not a big snacker but if I’m feeling hangry, my go to is either a handful of blueberries and about 8 almonds, an apple and some nut butter (current obsession: Pip and Nut chocolate coconut hazelnut butter – this one (it’s a limited edition so I’m stocking up now!) or if I didn’t bring any in, then I grab an Innocent Gorgeous Greens Smoothie from upstairs in the café.

7.00pm

Work hours vary – usually at the time of writing this, in the department I’m in, they’re good and I’m able to leave at this time, but with my industry (law) this is likely to change when my training contract seats rotate. If I am working late, I go upstairs and get dinner and take a taxi home later if it’s super late (our catering is amazing – often I have really nice fish, quinoa and greens!) but at the moment I often get to leave at this time… yay!

If I didn’t KOBOX in the morning, I’ll pop to the gym for 45 mins before I go home. All of my workouts tend to be under an hour. I feel like you don’t ever really need to go over 60 minutes… and who has the time?!

8.00pm

Leave the gym and commute, and read. (or if I did KOBOX earlier, then I’ll be back in West London after 45 mins commuting and reading, hitting my local Sainsbury’s for fresh veg and lean protein – we’re so lazy we don’t weekly shop at the weekend so whoever finishes work first – usually me, not the Boy! – picks up and makes dinner).

9.00pm

Back in West London now, I’ll do the Sainsbury’s run and cook dinner if I’ve beaten the Boy back (whoever gets back first must chef, tis the rule!) or if I’d done KOBOX in the morning, I’ll have made it home for 8.15pm, so I have more time unwinding with food and Netflix, either with the Boy or waiting for him to arrive.

Our meals take 20 mins max to cook – I’m an expert at clean, green, quick food from lots of experimentation, if I do say so myself! To help, our carbs are usually sweet potato or microwavable brown rice or packs of quinoa so they’re very fast to make. Lean protein is often smoked salmon or trout or prawns (no cook required!) or chicken or turkey (20 mins in our super hot fan oven). Simples.

I tend to make extra dinner and pop it in Tupperware for lunch the next day maybe 2 days a week. The rest I tend to buy lunch. I throw almonds and berries in Tupperware or apple and nut butter ready for the next day’s snack, too, if I remember.

9.45pm

Most days at the moment, if Boy’s hours are good too, we’ll have eaten or be eating by this point and watching Netflix together…

10.30pm

I start my evening facial described above (and see my Top 5 Skincare Secrets here) and clean my teeth, lay out my gym kit and try to find clean clothes for work the next day, and jump into bed by 10.45pm for a 10 minute meditation using the Happy Not Perfect app, or something from youtube or Tone it Up’s app.

10.55pm

Lights out. We always aim for this to be 10.30 but it never is!

***

Obviously because of our jobs, and the fact we both like working out, that occupies most of our weekdays! We spend most time together at weekends doing fun stuff.

Neither of us are super social as this routine indicates – timings vary but this is basically the template for my 5 working days a week – so this works really well haha… but I know some people would want to go out and do more on weekday evenings, so it’s a question of what works for you!

Hope that helps answer how I find time to workout and read and meal prep and things! 🙂 In truth, my hours at work are good at the moment, so being home by 8.15pm if I’ve done an early workout class, or 9pm ish post evening workout in the evening makes it a lot easier!

What’s your routine like? Any tips I can steal? Would mine work for you? Let me know what you think! ❤

B xoxo