8 Benefits/Side-effects of Boxing You Never Expected!

I make no secret of my love for boxing (yep, I really enjoy watching the sport as well as going to classes at KOBOX [check them out in City, Chelsea and Marylebone]) and, when I can, getting in PT to focus on padwork and technique) so this post won’t catch anyone by surprise…

I always advocate people finding ways to MOVE and TRAIN that they love and that feel intuitive and fun, rather than ‘exercise’ to burn calories which you have to force yourself to do and take less joy in. The mental angle of being excited about learning a new skill is key for me, and key for every client I’ve worked with or friend I’ve encouraged when we’ve worked on lifestyle changes for better health (both physical and mental!)

It’s also better for body image and your relationship with training and nutrition if you can move for joy and to celebrate what your body can do (because it honestly is kickass!) rather than as a punishment for what you ate.

Maybe it’s not boxing for you that ticks this box, by the way. Maybe its cycling, ballet, hiphop, triathlons, karate, hill sprints, hiking, surfing, paddleboarding, competitive swimming… the list is endless. And that’s okay too. But in really zoning in on boxing as both a way to keep my mental health in check, my body healthy, my stress levels down a little, and most importantly as a hobby that makes me happy and teaches me new skills at the same time, I’ve found loads of unexpected benefits to boxing that I thought I’d share incase anyone is on the fence about trying it.

PS. If you are on the fence about trying it and are nervous to go to a traditional boxing gym, DEFINITELY check out KOBOX – you can find out all you need to know on their website, and I’ve also posted at length (nothing sponsored, all me!) about why Kobox is incredible here, how 1 year of Kobox changed my body and brain here, plus I interviewed Kris Pace, their brand director when we spoke but now Operations director here for my Inspire Interview series.

Anyway, without further ado, here are 8 benefits of boxing that you probably aren’t expecting when you start!

  1. More Zen – yep, despite it looking like an aggressive gig (and obviously it is, so it has MAJOR stress busting benefits!), the cool down and stretch times after a boxing session are some of the most relaxed and blissed out sessions I’ve EVER had (it’s like a yoga savasna x100000000000, and beats saunas and Jacuzzis any time for the relax factor!) The 100% mental focus it takes to push yourself hard and try to wrap your head around the physical challenge but also the technique side of things means you concentrate super hard, sweat a tonne, release a f**k load of stress and you can really meditate, stretch and unwind like you’ve never experienced when it’s all over.
  2. Grit / resilience boost – I’ve noticed my stamina and grit through painful bits of training has increased sooooo much through boxing classes and PT. I used to be more prone to working at 60-70% effort and stopping with some fuel left in the tank. Not anymore! The Kobox instructors particularly are all super motivating, really know their sh*t, and will push you out of your comfort zone but also know how to tailor it to the individual so they can always gauge how hard to push you and when to let you recover.
    Developing this grit and resilience helps you day today as it also stays with you outside the gym too.
  3. Improved mindfulness, focus, and being present – as above really, 1 & 2 combined… having to challenge your cardiovascular system, your concentration on technique, controlling your mental state so you don’t give up and lie down or grab a donut – over time it’s amazing how these really build to a better ability to be present. Focused. Mindful. Boosted concentration. Boxing in class or a cheeky PT sesh is one of the rare times I can genuinely 100% block out and switch off from the outside world and zone in on the task at hand – hitting bags or pads or doing drills, whatever it may be! You definitely take this out of class or out of the ring too and find you have a fresher, uplifted perspective.
  4. Better body awareness (also = better sex, fyi…!) – [this is something you can get from dance training too] – focusing in on technique and having to be aware of the alignment and placement of all parts of your body to execute movement better translates into gradually improving your awareness of your body at all times, both inside and outside the gym. This has knock on effects for all other workouts, for how you walk and move generally – the more aware you are of what feels right and wrong and how your body is aligned means you get more out of every session. It also has interesting benefits outside of the gym too… 😉
    You’re also less likely to get injured if you move and train with awareness and it helps you cultivate an injury prevention mindset and makes you want to take care of your body so you can continue doing the good stuff rather than hammering it and risking longer term injury.
  5. You learn a lot about yourself – the style of training is quite demanding but you also only get out what you put in. How you adapt, how much you push yourself and how you respond to new challenges really reveals to you what your strengths and weaknesses are. You will also be surprised how much harder you can work than you thought. Boxing’s combination of learning a skill, working you crazy hard, demanding focus and dedication to getting better (plus the huge number of inspiring trainers and sportspeople you can learn from!) means you always leave a session knowing a little bit more about it and you than you did before. It also teaches you perseverance at a much higher level than any other form of workout I’ve tried.
  6. Boxing psychology & a fighter mentality (even if you’re not sparring yourself!) – you feel much more revved up to tackle things in day to day life because of the physical and mental benefits of training. I also find it fascinating to read about boxers’ mindsets and strategies and the psychological tactics they use, so even if you’re not in the ring or doing white collar fights yourself, you can still apply what is interesting and exciting about the sport to your life by taking on board those lessons. Boxing psychology is insaaaaane. Talk about mental toughness!
  7. It’s the best for improving ‘overall athleticism’ – a few years ago, a bunch of researches and ESPN found that boxing is the sport that takes the most athleticism.  Boxing combines so many factors and demands a lot of anyone taking part, beginner through to pro – it’s a sport that requires mega endurance, building strength, learning to develop power and some speed and agility to boot. A good trainer will make sure you understand how each drill or seemingly weird or random exercise is beneficial for your boxing – some work to improve footwork, or the placement of the hips or feet to sharpen up your technique, and some things might just be for your endurance.
    Either way, boxing is one of the most incredible all-round workouts you can do!
  8. It’s empowering – from both a self-confidence point of view, from a seeing yourself progress point of view, from the feeling you get when you finally manage to nail something you’ve struggled with for ages… it’s bloody empowering! That’s without even visualizing people you hate on your bag 😉 Also, as I allude to in this post here, I’m passionate about women doing sports like boxing and feeling stronger and able to hold their own due to some past family experiences and witnessing guys who think it’s ok to hit girls outside of sport. Spoiler: it’s not.

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What are your fave ways to train? Have you tried boxing yet? Let me know what you think. And hopefully see you at Kobox!

B xoxo

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The new wellness craze… spirituality?

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Spirituality is slowly seeping more and more into the instagram wellbeing bubble – I’ve recently heard spiritual wellness coaches like Jody Shield speak at events alongside fitness and nutrition professionals, showing people that spirituality can combine with modern life and isn’t just for hippies in a field dancing naked wearing hemp and sandals.

Former ‘fitness only’ influencers have moved across into yoga, astrology and crystals (quite a few instagrammers, for example) and then there are the public figures like Mel Wells who has moved from food coaching into more of a ‘spiritual wellness’ space having launched her new membership product, The Goddess Collective… Figures like Jasmine Hemsley combine nutrition and Ayurveda (yoga’s sister science)…

You’d be forgiven for thinking this was a new wellness craze! But none of these things and ideas are particularly new, it just seems they’re reaching a new market and being taken on by a new ‘generation’ almost…

Wellness and lifestyle bloggers are expanding the areas of content they cover from fitness, fashion, nutrition and health into the spiritual. And I guess that can be quite polarizing for some people, who maybe don’t agree with their ideas, or odd for others who haven’t encountered these ideas yet.

The Big Questions

Religion and myth have been a part of humanity for as long as we’ve been conscious – humans naturally crave explanations for things they don’t understand and the mysteries of the universe.

I’ve been asked recently in a Q&A I did on instagram if I’m religious, and if I think religion and spirituality can help mental health. I didn’t answer it on IG as it needed a fuller post to be honest, it’s a huge topic! So here goes!

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My two cents…

Let’s just get it clear that all of these things are deeply personal and we all have to respect that people won’t always agree…!

I am an atheist. I’ve never believed in a creator god, and still don’t. I was made to go to Christian Sunday school as a kid for a bit, but my parents aren’t really Christians either (my grandmother and former stepmum are) but I never believed in it.

I grew up near Glastonbury and so as a teen discovered paganism and Wicca and dabbled for a while for fun, but never seriously believed in it. Yes, I did a couple of Witchy Rituals following Fiona Horne’s books. It’s funny looking back on it now 🙂 However I did learn loads about the pagan tradition, gods and goddesses in all kinds of different traditions, crystals and new age philosophy, and all that jazz. I first started learning to meditate as a teen but stopped and didn’t come back to it til later in life.

I’ve also, with my other half, rejected a lot of the Glastonbury naval gazing and hippyisms as we’ve witnessed first hand how the lack of responsibility and drug culture can mess up peoples’ lives (particularly kids).

At university through literary criticism I discovered philosophy and found myself to be an existentialist. I don’t believe life has inherent meaning, I believe we create it, and have to work to create it and find meaning in things.

I went to Cambodia and Thailand in one of my uni summers and was OBSESSED with exploring the gorgeous temples of Angkor Wat.

I’ve always been interested in world religions, especially Hinduism and Buddhism (and my mum was interest in Buddhism too so I read loads on it as a teenager). I’m fascinated by ancient cultures and indigenous peoples, and love to hear about myths in, for example, Aztec and Mayan traditions, and Japanese and Chinese beliefs.

I got diagnosed with depression in my 20s although I’ve had it my whole life. I remain an atheist and existentialist, but after years of work combining fitness, nutrition, medication and meditation to manage the condition, I started looking wider.

I’ve (in the last year or two) dabbled in Ayurveda, the ancient Indian holistic wellness system (and even did a mini course), I’ve read more widely on meditation, spirituality, Buddhism and mindfulness, and I’ve been part of wellness groups which incorporate spirituality (originally Jody Shield’s Tribe Tonic, which I left, and now Mel Well’s The Goddess Collective which at the time of writing I’m still in).

I’m also fascinated by the commonalities between religions, and the ways in which conquering religions like Christianity used existing Pagan holidays to persuade people to adopt their practices more easily.

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So where are you now? Do you believe in god or a creator? How does it work with your rational logical side? Does it help your mental wellbeing?

I’m still an atheist.

I’m still an existentialist.

I’m also a Scorpio with Capricorn rising…!

Do I rationally and logically believe in astrology? No. Do I match everything my chart says about being a Scorpio with Capricorn rising? Hell yes! Do I enjoy it intuitively? Yes. Is that a bit of a paradox? Probably, yeah! Whatever!

In Ayurveda, I’m very strongly the pitta dosha. Do I believe this is biologically, scientifically a thing? No… but I can still relate to it, enjoy it, use it to derive meaning and adopt self-care practices…

Not everything, for me, now, has to make clinical sense. At one point I’d have rejected all this. But I think it’s totally fine to do your own personal thing.

If I had to be labeled, I’d be nearer a Buddhist as they don’t believe in an active being, or creator.

I think you can create meaning and fun however you want. I enjoy hearing about different cultures’ believes, I enjoy astrology, I may not rationally believe in tarot but why the fuck not if you like that kinda thing?

Keats was a poet who wrote about ‘negative capability’ – the ability to hold two conflicting thoughts and beliefs at the same time, so why not do that?!

I think generally religion is two things – a source of comfort and guidance to people (nothing wrong with that!) and an attempt to explain things that science has not yet been able to. If you want to enjoy the fictions to bring meaning to life – why not?!!

Given that I don’t believe in a god, I don’t exactly have a being I feel comforted by, or ask for guidance from. But my foraging into meditation and Buddhism has definitely helped me get a grip on my brain and managing my thoughts, emotions and moods.

What are your thoughts?

Let me know what you think about how spirituality is really kicking off in the wellness field, and share your beliefs and practices if you feel comfortable!

B x

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The end result of my vegan trial… (flexitarian-ism!)

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So in this post I told you alllllll about how I had watched all these documentaries and for both environmental and ethical-animal-based reasons, I wanted to try being plant-based.

I committed not to the full vegan lifestyle, but to being as plant-based as possible.

It was amazing initially – read the original post for the energy and endurance boost I felt. Then I had a couple of odd symptoms (not the ones you’d expect funnily enough!) and then it was fine again.

I managed to last a couple of months, before landing back at officially flexitarian (eating some meat, some fish, some dairy but aiming to be as plant-based as possible – so I tend to have at least 2 vegan meals a day generally).

Why did I ‘stop’?

The blunt honest truth is I do still agree with the ethics and environmental arguments, but I had to stop for my mental health.

As an ex-ED sufferer, I was aware ‘restrictive’ ways of eating need to be handled with care. I really didn’t think I’d be affected. But I was. I started to get anxious, obsessively check labels, feel sick and jittery around meal times, and obsess about what I could and couldn’t eat. If I had to go out, I’d worry about if I’d be able to eat anything or not.

And while maybe it’s possible to work through these things, given my history, and my on-going story with depression, I decided I didn’t have to be perfect.

I can still aim to eat as little animal produce as possible. To choose clean, ethical beauty and makeup products as much as possible. To help promote healthy plant-based options. I’ve swapped my shakes to vegan protein, converted Boy to almond milk in his lattes, we’re making changes…

But I’m not perfect. I’m not fully vegan. And while I’m sorry I can’t be fully consistent with the fact that I think it’s ideal to be vegan, I feel the need to be selfish and take care of myself on this one.

I hope I’m not letting anyone down, but I wanted to tell it like it is!

Positive lasting effects

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I now do eat pretty much 2 meals a day that are vegan now, we’ve made some permanent swaps, and I’m more aware than I ever was before of the impact of my lifestyle choices.

It also made me make WAY more effort with fruit and veg variation, and getting more colour in my diet definitely felt like it gave my skin, mental clarity and energy levels a boost.

I feel better educated about animal welfare than before, and so I am trying to make more conscious decisions. While I’m not perfect, I’m working to reduce my impact and avoid supporting animal products as much as possible.

I care more about the impact of my lifestyle in other areas and make more effort to reduce plastic and recycle too.

It’s taught me loaaaads of tasty brand new plant-based recipes, and learning about plant-based protein sources has been great nutrition knowledge.

So there have definitely been some positives!

Fundamental philosophy

As my nutritionist and the lovely human being Rhiannon Lambert says, we don’t have to label our food choices.

I firmly believe this. But if I had to technically put a label on it to sum it up for you, I guess you could call me flexitarian.

However, ultimately, you are unique and need to do what works for your mind, body, ethics, all that good stuff. So don’t stress! Let’s support each other in making incrementally better choices for the planet, but also support good physical and mental health in others, whatever that may look like, and try not to judge others’ diets.

What about you guys, how do you try to live consciously while balancing your own physical and mental health?

B x

Going plant-based – MY HONEST REASONS & Body’s reaction | Not just Veganuary

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I hear some of the meat-eaters sighing already – another person who has a fitness instagram jumping on the plant-based bandwagon.

I wanted to share with you my thinking behind going plant-based (& a disclaimer that while I strive to introduce as many plant-based, vegan foods and focuses into my daily routine, I’m still technically a vegetarian I guess), my motivation and what has ultimately influenced me, and a bit about my history with meat etc. before this just as background.

I am not sharing this to be preachy, or to copy all the #plantbased fitness influencers out there. And I am not sharing this as a spontaneous New Year’s resolution.

So let’s talk. First, winding back the clocks…

My diet background since my teens (eating disorders aside)

I actually spent 10 years as a pescatarian…

Pescatarians still eat dairy and fish, just not meat. I started this in Zambia when given some dodgy quality meat, and kept it up for a decade, plus or minus one slip with some chicken.

But I’d always reassure people it wasn’t for moral reasons, I just didn’t want meat.

But then I started eating meat again…

As I got into training (initially weightlifting, then boxing) more, I thought I needed more protein and got sucked into the chicken, broccoli, sweet potato bro-food thing, although I still wouldn’t eat lamb or pork or processed meat.

I did try a week vegan as an experiment because I saw so many people doing it, but I decided I’d miss cheese too much, and my motivation wasn’t really strong enough. Needless to say, it didn’t last.

My diet immediately before going plant-based

To be honest my diet over the last 6 months has been increasingly plant-based as I became more aware of micronutrients, phytochemicals and overall health via influencers like The Food Medic and my nutrionist Rhiannon Lambert, both of whom encourage lots of veggies and fruit, and healthy whole-foods, but equally don’t prescribe veganism or vegetarianism… I was eating probably about 20% plant-based, 60-70% vegetarian and 10-20% organic lean meats like chicken or seafood.

So I was phasing in more and more plant-focussed eating.

I haven’t touched dairy milk for like 6-7 years though – I woke up one day and just found it disgusting and didn’t want it anymore, so that’s an easy one for me.

Why did you make the jump to committing to being ‘plant-based’? Are you vegan, or vegetarian? What’s the difference?

Valid questions, all!

So plant-based is where you try to follow a diet that is powered by plants i.e. avoiding animal products.

Veganism is the all-encompassing lifestyle where you ONLY eat plant-based foods and do NOT eat any animal-derived products (e.g. honey, cheese, milk, eggs, meat, fish) and you don’t wear anything animal-derived (e.g. leather, fur), you only purchase products which are cruelty free and not tested on animals etc. etc. It touches every aspect of your life, and you avoid all animal-derived products.

Vegetarians don’t eat meat or fish, but do eat eggs and dairy.

Pescatarians don’t eat meat, but eat seafood, eggs and dairy.

I went plant-based ultimately for a combination of ethical and environmental reasons, some health factors, and therefore I aspire to be as vegan as possible.

However, I acknowledge that I may not be perfect – I do still own leather items, for example, or I may eat an egg from the chickens in my dad’s back garden every now and then, or have a little bit of non-vegan chocolate. I’m trying to cut this out as much as possible, I know the dairy and egg industries are very problematic, but I don’t want to lie and pretend I’m perfect or that the vegan transition is an easy one, and I know it would piss off a lot of very strongly devoted vegans for me to say I was vegan, if I was eating honey or whatever, which I may do…

I totally agree with veganism from an animal rights and environmental perspective though, hence why I want to do what I can.

Like Rhiannon Lambert, I don’t believe I need to label my diet per se, but I guess militant vegans would call me a vegetarian who tries not to touch animal products but occasionally has a bit of cheese. Vegan-curious. Whatever. I’m going with the aim to be plant-based as that seems to be socially-media-lly acceptable and offend the fewest people.

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But WHY go plant-based now? What influenced it?

I’ve listened to more and more people talk about going plant-based recently. I followed Flora Beverley aka Food Fitness Flora, Grace Beverley, and Zanna Van Dijk and Steph Elswood since way before they were vegan, and watched their journeys with interest.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Venetia Falconer and her podcast Talking Tastebuds, and have become increasingly more intrigued and experimental with plant-based recipes.

However, I always said I ‘admired’ vegans but couldn’t commit myself. I said I couldn’t cope without cheese. I called it ‘joyless’ food. I agreed with the arguments against animal cruelty but was still too scared to watch Cowspiracy. I tried to push it out of my mind. I also figured, well I buy free range eggs, that doesn’t hurt animals. Cows have to be milked… (I discovered I was wrong on both counts, as you’ll see in a sec).

Then Venetia’s episode of Talking Tastebuds with Lucy Watson got me thinking that I should own up to my choices and not shy away. I should fully educate myself and then if I could still stomach meat etc, so be it.

I watched the following documentaries over the course of two days:

  • Cowspiracy
  • What the Health* (*take this one with a pinch of salt, much seems accurate on deeper research but some isn’t – eggs are NOT as bad for you as cigarettes!)
  • Forks over Knives
  • Blackfish

I then read the book ‘Eating Animals’ by Jonathan Safran Foer.

I realized I couldn’t just ignore things anymore and had to change by diet. I totally agree with all the arguments for veganism and aspire to remove animal-products from my diet as much as possible.

I watched this amazing talk by Earthling Ed that really helps summarise everything too.

For the animals…

Suffice it to say, animals, even allegedly ‘free range’ ones are not being treated well. Factory farming is a horrific industry – slaughterhouse conditions are shocking. Cows are kept perpetually pregnant to keep them producing milk. So many male chicks who aren’t layers are killed horrifically. Chickens are kept in horrific conditions to keep them artificially laying more and more eggs per year instead of just spring. This is just a sample as I’m not here to preach or shock, I just want to give a flavour of some of the things I either knew and ignored, or didn’t know at all… now I can’t ignore any of it.

For the planet…

Then there’s the environmental stuff – the vast quantities of land destroyed for meat farming, the water wastage, the CO2 footprint, the cow’s fart methane thing which is actually a huge problem, the oceans being destroyed because trawling for tuna kills hundreds of thousands of other sealife too including seahorses and other species.

For health…

Then there’s the health side. Hormones and antibiotics and unsanitary, shit filled conditions in slaughter houses. The fact that in the US, the dairy and meat industries lobby so hard they affect government health guidelines, and are the producers of fact sheets so even the Diabetes and Cancer bodies won’t openly admit how much processed meat and dairy can be bad for you.

Milk is baby cow growth fluid, full of hormones, to make a little calf get to the size of a big cow ASAP.

All of this stuff, that once I’d seen it, I couldn’t unsee.

For my mental health…

I read a couple of studies which implied a plant-based diet could help depression, which as many of you will know I’ve been in a 2 decade + battle with. I need to track down the actual journal articles to fully assess credibility, but feel it’s worth the experiment.

For me…

It just feels like the right thing to do, but in some circumstances there are reasons not to go vegan (especially if you’ve suffered from anorexia or overly-restrictive disordered eating – always consult a doctor and nutritionist).

The animal thing and the environment thing are pretty big for me. Blackfish is actually about killer whales at Seaworld, and when the baby was separated from its mother and she just floated shaking at the corner of a pool wailing in grief was just heart-breaking.

I guess I knew this all on some level before, but by distancing myself from it and not properly educating myself I could act like it was ok. But now, I don’t think momentary pleasure from eating something is worth all of that. It’s too sad. Not to mention not sustainable.

Q: How do you know if someone is vegan/plant-based? A: They’ll tell you!

I have fulfilled this already by posting in this much detail, but I wanted to explain my reasoning and make clear YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE VEGAN OR VEGETARIAN TO BE HEALTHY.

Up your plant-based eating as much as you can for health reasons but you don’t have to entirely quit meat and dairy and seafood. Those are things you can make decisions about based on ethics and sustainability – you do you.

I don’t wanna preach, but I do think the reasons are worth stating, and I feel like I do have a very little platform to do good things, so hopefully this resonates to some degree and encourages you to consume a little more consciously, even if it’s just #MeatFreeMonday!

Can you just make the switch quickly?

People do, I think, but I’ve gradually become more and more plant-based over the last few months anyway.

I’ve also read a lot of articles and watched a lot of youtube videos by people with tips for going vegan, and things they wish they’d known, so I think the best thing, personally, is to do it gradually, to let your body adjust to the increased fibre.

So how am I finding it… truthfully?

I’ve been doing this since before Christmas, so a couple of weeks now. Have I slipped and had a non-vegan product? Yes.

But I’ve stuck to my plant-based-vegetarian philosophy, focused on consuming fresh, whole foods and plant-based recipes. I found AMAZING vegan cheese (hey violife!) and vegan pizza (Waitrose and Pizza Express!) for when I need those things in my life… and all in all it’s going really well.

  • I have been feeling:
    • More energetic
    • Less lethargic
    • Endurance during workouts has improved
    • Fewer ‘cravings’
    • More connected to the planet and animals etc – sounds woo woo I know, but it’s soooo nice to not just be thinking about myself and trying to eat well in a way that is nourishing for the environment as well as me!
    • Happier!
  • My body has
    • Not really reacted to the change so far, because I guess I’d gradually been becoming more plant-based so I’ve not found any of the bloating/digestition issues a lot of people report*
  • ‘Confession box’
    • I had a bit of blue cheese over xmas that DEFINITELY wasn’t vegan.
    • I also had a bit of non-vegan chocolate.
    • It’s a process! While some may disagree, as far as I’m concerned this is about a sustainable lifestyle change and REDUCING ANIMAL PRODUCTS as MUCH AS POSSIBLE for the LONG TERM, and so a few slips overall may happen but won’t throw me off the wagon!
  • Negatives?
    • Friends who react saying they don’t give a f*** about animals, and I’m ridiculous not to eat meat etc. etc. I don’t have any plans to preach or convert anyone, but I’d like my lifestyle choices to be MINE ❤

[*Post publication edit (3rd Jan 17:55): literally the before day this post was scheduled to go live, so yesterday, I started noticing afternoon headaches, which have continued today (the day of publication) – so like, maybe negative symptoms a couple of weeks into this? I’m also feeling very nauseaous. This MAY OR MAY NOT BE CONNTECTED to my diet change – I am diarising what I’m eating, and tracking it to test it. According to Google, these aren’t unusual things to experience while your body adjusts. Of greater concern to me was something happened last night that has never happened to me before except when I’ve had a severe fever – night sweats. So I need to monitor this, and check in with my doctor and nutritionist at the earliest opportunity. Remember there is no substitute for qualified advice!]

Resources

All of the things I’ve watched, been inspired by etc. in this decision are linked below and above throughout this post. Watch/read/listen for curiosity’s sake if nothing else – you don’t have to change how you eat at all, but being informed is always nice!

Make sure if you do this, you check in with professionals and ensure you’re looking at supplementation in the right way – protein believe it or not is super easy to get from plants (you just need to know your complete proteins from your non-completes, and how to combine different sources to get all the essential amino acids!) but Vitamin B12 and iodine are super important too.

Check out this e-book by Harley Street Nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert, ‘A Simple Way to Eat Plant-Based‘ which tells you all you need to know!

Documentaries:

Cowspiracy

What the Health

Forks over Knives

Blackfish

Youtubers with good advice on going vegan:

Zanna Van Dijk

GraceFitUK

Dealing with anxiety & stress over Christmas

Christmas is coming…!

So everyone loves a bit of Christmas, right? Mulled wine, fairy lights, chocolate everywhere, epic roast dinners… but it also is the time of year where you’re expected to see EVERYBODY before the New Year, party every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then the day itself can be a political hotbed of family in-fighting!

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Or may you have to do a lot of travelling. Or see relations you’re not hugely cool with. Or maybe you have eating issues, or social anxiety and the pressure is just too much.

I get it – our family is craaaaaaaay and this year we’ve opted to hole up at home in London, just me and the Boy and not do the big stressful family tour thing!

I also used to have an eating disorder as many of you know, and now I’m doing #100DaysSober I have had to turn down a LOT of alcohol at client drinks and office and general Christmas parties over this period.

Top tips for staying sane…!

Read on to discover my fave mental and physical wellbeing tips for the festive season, including mental health, food, fitness, alcohol, eating disorders, office parties, and family politics…

Just say ‘no’ to FOMO.

You don’t have to go to every party. Or if you do, you don’t have to stay until 2am. No-one has a gun to your head. Prioritise what YOU want. It’s hard at first, but when you get used to it, it’s empowering.

If you don’t want to go to something, apologise and suggest meeting up at a time more convenient for you (be it Jan, Feb, March, whatever!)

You can be polite and still take care of yourself. And remember: you are responsible for your actions, but not for anyone else’s reactions. That’s on them.

A therapist told me that once and it’s changed my life.

Make some time for you

Remember to schedule in some down time to treat yourself, be it some time to have a long bath, or lie-in, or read alone… whatever you need to re-charge so you don’t feel totally frazzled.

You do you, no explanation needed

If you don’t want to drink alcohol, or eat something, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. A smile and ‘no thank you, I’m fine,’ should suffice. If people push, you can firmly say you don’t want to talk about it.

If you’re hosting parties, take note:

  • Don’t ask people why they’re not drinking alcohol. It’s not your business.
  • Don’t ask people why they’re eating / not eating something, or make comments about them being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘treating themselves’ or ‘behaving’ or ‘staying on track’. It’s not your business, and if people do have eating disorders / disordered eating, this is supremely unhelpful.

Meditaaaaaaaate, meditate, meditate

It doesn’t have to be hippy-dippy. Even 5-10 minutes a day on an app like Calm, Headspace, Buddhify or Happy Not Perfect can help you reset, destress and relax. Breathing deeply taps into your parasympathetic nervous system (your ‘rest and digest’) system.

Take the pressure off

Remember, perfection is impossible. There’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas. People may not always get on 100% of the time. Things go wrong, turkeys burn, dogs eat the Christmas cake… c’est la vie.

Try to enjoy spending time with family, time off work, time eating amazing food, and stop expecting a chocolate box picture perfect Victorian Christmas with angels singing, family looking angelic and not annoying each other… don’t set impossible standards for it to live up to.

Eat mindfully

Christmas is a time to enjoy food. Enjoy it for what it is and don’t stress about weight. The trick is to try and eat when you’re hungry and not gorge when you’re full, or keep picking at quality street.

Savour your food. Focus on the smell, taste and texture. Have whatever you like – but just take it slow, chew it, enjoy it, and stop when you’re full – you can have more when you’re hungry again! This ‘naughty’ mentality means people binge because they feel Christmas is a free pass to be bad, but in reality there’s no good and bad – you just need to listen to your body and appetite, and not go overboard.

Over Christmas, yes there’ll be more off types of food you’d usually try to moderate better – chocolate and cake etc. That’s okay. Don’t sweat it. Just try to eat as mindfully as possible, and focus on getting those vitamins and minerals in as well – lots of veggies with that roast!

Alcohol… *mistletoe and wine*

If you drink alcohol, try to make sure you’re drinking mindfully and enjoying it, not downing the bottle…! And fundamentally, keep hydrating with water as much as possible.

Ideally I guess don’t drink, or limit it to very small amounts, as studies now show there’s technically no ‘safe’ amount of alcohol, but realistically people will drink, and life is for living and enjoying so just drink in moderation, stay hydrated and be safe!

Just remember, alcohol can make you more jittery and anxious, so consume with caution!

Move!

I’m not saying you need to rigorously gym over Christmas, but regular walking and a home workout or two (use this site, or apps like Sweat with Kayla, or free youtube videos!) can get rid of that stress and/or lethargy that can accompany the Christmas period. A crisp, Christmassy walk outside in the cold can really clear the head!

Movement is super important for stress, anxiety, depression and mood disorders as endorphins are nature’s happy pill!

Take a deep breath and walk away from family politics

Christmas gatherings aren’t the best place to thrash out serious issues*. Try to smile it out and not engage. Leave the room if you need to. If it’s normal family annoyances and feuds, breathe deeply, go and meditate or walk for a while and move on. You can argue later when you’re calmer, and not in front of all of your relations and likely to upset yourself and multiple others. (Unless it’s very serious: see below!)

*Obviously some things are intolerable, whatever the time of year. So equally take care of yourself, be safe, and you can and should just leave or walk away if something is dangerous or damaging. It’s okay to put yourself first.

Practice gratitude

Christmas should be a time to reflect on the year and all you’ve accomplished and everything amazing that’s happened, and to enjoy time with family and friends.

(I’m not religious so that’s it for me anyway! If you’re religious I guess it’s extra special!)

Be grateful – for family, friends, presents, food, a roof over your head, an income, a job, your body, the clothes on your back… when you’re truly feeling grateful it’s hard to be properly stressed, and there are people out there far worse off than us. Perspective is all it takes. There’s a lovely meditation called ‘The Universe’ on the app Buddhify, which helps put everything in perspective.

Lots of love & merry Christmas!

B

xoxo

 

 

How 1 year of KOBOX changed my body and brain!

I actually can’t believe that I had my first ever Kobox class in October last year. If you happen to have stumbled across my instagram, you’ll know it’s an essential part of my week – and most days! I wrote this post after a few months of Kobox, and everything I said is still true. (I also had a chat with the Kobox Brand Director here, if you fancy nosing around the careers section of this site!)

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It’s worth reiterating that nothing I’ve ever written about Kobox has been sponsored or in exchange for free classes. Although full disclosure Ollie did give me a pair of Team Brown Bear wraps, but that’s just because he’s a babe. True – I bang on about Kobox A LOT but that’s because I CHOOSE TO and I personally pay for the privilege!

New KOBOX Marylebone studio

Today, they’re launching a brand new studio in Marylebone (COME TO THE LAUNCH PARTY AT 7PM! Check their instagram here for details! And classes begin on Saturday) and I attended a Chelsea class this morning, my 94th every class… nearly at that 100 milestone!

And I wanted to write this post because I’m not the kind of person you’d imagine boxing. People are always surprised I even watch it on TV too. But that’s the beauty of Kobox – they’re a studio that opens boxing up beyond just blokes with balls big enough to hop into a ring and get punching no questions asked, and guarantees EVERYONE can have a great time and get results, regardless of your background or experience – fancy-ass pro or boxing newbie.

What makes KOBOX so good?

The trainers are all super knowledgable and passionate but most importantly they’re just f*cking great human beings. No massive egos. No intimidation. Just people who give 110% energy every time, and will chat with you after a class over a shake, dunk biscuits in their tea in the middle of class occasionally (OK so that was just Antoine aka. @PTDunn!) or take the piss out of you on instagram… literally, the best, most down to earth bunch you can find… but they’re the bloody BEST at what they do.

So if you’re nervous about trying it, really, really don’t be. It might be the best thing you ever do! It’s absolutely changed my relationship with my body and brain – I can’t even imagine life without it.

How KOBOX changed my body… and brain!

(& I’ll share a transformation pic once I’ve completed my 100th class!)

Finally found my fitness peak

I’m now the fittest and strongest I’ve ever been thanks to full on beastings that target all areas of the body.

New skills & strength

I can do things I couldn’t even do before like push ups on my toes (literally I used to not even be able to do ONE!), wall handstands and planks (my arms would’ve given out before!) and crazy primal sequences that get the body doing what it’s designed to do (if you go to Miranda’s #fuckedupFridays – you KNOW!)

Transformed into a morning person (the IMPOSSIBLE happened!)

I’ve gone from being someone who could never get up in the mornings to VOLUNTARILY getting up at 6.30am to get my Kobox fix!

Improved mental health

I also now use it as a big part of managing my depression (which I’ve suffered with for over 20 years!) and I genuinely think it makes as much of a difference as medication. But wherever you’re at with mental health, I guarantee battering a bag ALWAYS makes you feel better!

Best relationship with my body

And for the first time in my life, after a long time of eating disorders and generally just a bad relationship with my body, I now love it for what it can do, and am completely comfortable in my skin. I don’t give a f*ck about weight anymore.

Boosted motivation and drive

It has also transformed the way I train and my motivation levels – I now WANT to go harder, or do more reps than I could before, and I’m so much more disciplined and able to push myself to the next level.

How can you join?

Check out their website here and get yourself booked into a class. They have studios in Chelsea, City and Marylebone. There’s a great offer of £25 for 2 classes and free hand wraps, or you can try a city single class for £10 at weekends (in City only).

The trainers also do one to ones and I was lucky enough to win a session on the pads with the legend Ian Streetz in Jan which was amaaaaaazing and I’d 100% recommend it – check out his website here.

PS…

They’re doing a really cool Halloween FRIGHT CLUB that I can’t make it to, but you 100% should because it sounds awesome and I’m just gonna have to live vicariously through you guys… check their insta @kobox and website for more details.

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Photo by Stephan Müller on Pexels.com

B xox

 

 

Allergic reaction to alcohol? | How I ended up in hospital

So those of you who also play with me on instagram may have seen that I ended up in hospital on a drip and medicated up last weekend, and it did really shake The Boy & I up and is leading to some massive lifestyle changes, so I thought I’d share details.

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I went to some leaving drinks on a Friday night – had a few glasses of wine, got suitably happy… phoned my boyfriend after my last one today I was coming home and getting an uber.

I then (apparently – I don’t remember this!) called him back, barely making sense, saying I felt ill and couldn’t breathe and needed help, and that I was in the bathroom. I then passed out while throwing up, still on the phone to him.

He managed to call someone to come and find me, and they kindly looked after me. At this stage everyone just thought I was drunk, although the Boy has seen me drunk many times over the last 13 years and never seen anything like this. He managed eventually to get 2 different taxis to take us home, half way, then fully (thank god I apparently wasn’t ill in the taxi!)

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Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

However, I was throwing up every few minutes, couldn’t breathe properly and my throat was swelling. After I’d been vomiting for 12 hours non stop and my throat was literally visibly massive he realised something was wrong and I had to go to hospital.

We went to A&E and they checked me over and sent me to the minor injuries unit – I was dehydrated and having panic attacks because I couldn’t breathe or stop being sick.

They put me on a drip, did some tests (I hate needles but literally barely even noticed I was in so much pain!), gave me medication and saline solution and kept me in for a while. After 2 litres of fluids and whatever medicine they gave me (I was pretty out of it and not paying attention to be honest!), I started to feel more normal, but super weak.

Eventually after ruling out a few things and finding my blood alcohol level wasn’t high enough for me to be so violently ill, the conclusion was that, most likely, I had a reaction to a specific type of wine.

However, it’s also possible that I’m now intolerant to drinking generally.

To be honest, I really don’t feel like testing it… I am quite happy to never drink again.

I’m a bit confused they didn’t discuss interaction with my current medication with me (I told them multiple times I’m on 20mg fluoxetine daily at the moment) as I know that could have affected things too.

The nurse said she’s sure it’s the brand of wine, but the doctors didn’t specify. Either way… I can’t end up in hospital again, whatever the reason, and I feel awful for scaring the Boy and my family like that, and so I am planning to stay sober. To be honest, given my tendency to use alcohol to feel better because of my depression at the weekends, I never had the healthiest relationship with it anyway, and so I think this is just a great sign / excuse / reason etc to stop drinking altogether.

I received lovely messages from so many of you, so thank you! And also some amazing support from someone who came forward to talk to me about what it’s like giving up drinking and I’m so grateful as I know in the UK it’s not an easy thing – culturally it is pretty unthinkable to the British!

I’m just super grateful for the NHS (all of that amazing, kind treatment was so smooth and efficient, I somehow had a private room, and it all just comes out of general tax and National Insurance that me and the rest of the country pay every month – we’re so lucky this exists!) and also for my health and my body and what our bodies are capable of!

I’m back to my normal self and boxing again after a few days’ recovery, and I know being sober carries a lot of stigma but I’m hoping I can share this with you as part of this wider health and fitness journey – this blog has always been mostly nutrition and workout focussed but lately has moved to cover and be more open about my mental health. Not drinking is something that I think spans all these areas, and so while I’m not for a second saying anyone else has to give it up (I wouldn’t be if I hadn’t been through an allergic/intolerant reaction and been really freaked out I suspect!), I’m hoping my wake up call will inspire people to just be careful of their health, drink sensibly and healthily, ensure you’re not drinking for mental health support (alcohol is a depressant and will not help here although it feels like it does – it’s a slippery slope, friends!) and if you do have an allergic reaction you know to get some help and get yourself treatment ASAP!

Tonnes of love, and any other non drinkers with tips, stories… please connect with me and share as I’d love to hear!

B xoxo

 

Staying Zen while spinning multiple plates! (Bust stress & anxiety for Autumn)

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Everyone gets stressed and anxious, some more than others, but pretty much everyone can relate in some way! It’s become such a ‘thing’ (people talk about being busy and stressed and anxious 24/7 these days!) that we’re all looking for easy ways to de-stress all the time. While there aren’t any magic solutions, there are some effective tried-and-tested techniques, all of which help me manage my mood and hopefully will help you manage yours too!

Zen-up your life & feel better for Fall

Sweat

  • Wake up early for a workout. This literally kickstarts your day in the best possible way, releases a rush of endorphins, boosts mood and creativity and is great for physical and mental health.

Snooze & hydrate

  • Make sure you’re getting 7 hours sleep a night, minimum.
  • Drink water! 80% of the human body is made up of water so it is ESSENTIAL!

Break free from the desk trap

  • Get away from your desk at any opportunity you can – easier said than done most days, but even a 20 minute walk at lunch, extra trips to the loo or to grab a coffee… movement and a change of scene always helps!

Get ruthless with social media – detox those screens!

  • Minimise social media usage if it’s making you compare yourself with others. De-toxify your insta and facebook by unfollowing and unfriending anyone who is making you feel bad – it’s not selfish to prioritise your sanity! An instagram cull can be so mentally cleansing if people’s content is irritating, making you envious or feel inadequate, or just isn’t what you want to see! It’s YOUR FEED. You decide.

Cut the caffeine (sorry!)

  • Reduce caffeine as much as possible – caffeine will amp up your stress levels and elevate your heart rate, and try to stop drinking it after lunch or it will still be in your system when you’re trying to go to sleep – true story!

Rewire your brain & delete ‘perfectionist’ from your vocabulary – rest is valuable!

  • Sometimes it’s okay to be good enough and not always work the overtime or volunteer for an extra project. Remember that, and rest up. You’re no good to anyone burned out!

Not just for New-Ageys… the science supports yoga and meditation

  • Yoga and meditation are amazing ways to promote what scientific studies have termed the ‘relaxation response’ – an alteration of your chemical state that is good for body and mind! They also help build resilience and flexibility, both mental and physical.

Fresh air ‘n’ breeeeeathe

  • Go outside – even just for 2 minutes – if you feel overwhelmed. It can totally shift your perspective, break up the day and give you a second to collect yourself.

Just. Say. NO.

  • Learn to say no – if you don’t want to go to that social thing, just get out of it and look after yourself. FOMO is so 90s. There’s no need for it!

Ditch public opinion & love yourself

  • Work on getting comfortable in your skin and not stressing about what other people think about you – whether you do this with yoga, meditation, journalling, sport, art, therapy, or all or none of these – honestly, it’s LIFE CHANGING. At 27 I had some mega realisations about living MY LIFE and liberating myself from being concerned with other peoples’ views of me… and it is honestly insane once you get there in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. Obviously we’re all human and so relapse sometimes, but overall… I promise, you’ll feel amazing.

Re-prioritise… the good stuff

  • Recognise that work isn’t everything. Once you prioritise your relationships and your loves (be it a boyfriend, boxing, or family) you’ll feel so much more content with life. No-one dies wishing they’d spent more time at the office, however driven.

Nostrils, nostrils, nostrils (pranayama baby!)

  • Pranayama breathing, aka alternate nostril breathing. Sounds a bit mad, but I love this stuff… try it! It works. Go on. Give it a google.

Be curious!

  • Cultivate curiosity in new things, be it exploring, or learning a new language. Being stimulated in non-worky non-burnouty ways is so great for stress busting and feeling like you’ve achieved something, and re-invigorating your inspiration levels.

So, there you have it, my favourite ways to stay zen while spinning plates (or try to!) No-one is perfect and no-one can be chill all the time, but the nearer I get to 30 the more I realise what matters to me, and feeling happy and mentally and emotionally healthy is more of a priority than ever – I no longer have the obsession with beating myself up about things and stressing to the max… so I hope this helps you get happier too 😉

B xoxo

 

 

4 simple tips: become more CONFIDENT

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Photo by Stokpic on Pexels.com

Anytime I see posts and articles about this I find it SO INTERESTING because I feel like we all get insecure sometimes and want to be a little more confident.

I’m a super shy person. Always have been. But I am less painfully shy than I used to be, to the point where now often people don’t believe I’m shy (maybe they think I’m awkward instead hahaha…!)

Confidence is this weird thing, right? You see people who literally are just so free and don’t give AF and are able to share their ideas, boss something in the gym without embarassment or speak up at work… I’ve often wished I could buy it in a bottle (champagne doesn’t count if you wanna keep your job guys!)

In my first job at Vouchercodes.co.uk, a lot of ‘pitching’ was involved – and I had to deliver the pitches myself. I was 21, super shy, not at all confident, I felt inadequate and ridiculous, and could barely speak in internal meetings, let alone with clients! We also had to present in company-wide meetings weekly, and it nearly gave me a heart attack.

I’ve always hated public speaking. I’d shake – as in PHYSICALLY SHAKE. I’d feel sick. I’d cry on the phone to my dad every morning.

But you know what? Being forced to do it again and again means that 1) I know if forced, I can… I even gave a speech at a wedding a couple of years ago! and 2) where speaking in a meeting of 3-10 people used to terrify me, now I know how to do it.

How?

Practice, basically. I’d practice my pitches to my boyfriend, on the phone to my dad, I’d set up meetings with my boss to practice with her, I’d listen to her and make notes on how she did it… and then the worst bit was just making myself do it.

To help, I qualified to teach fitness so I had to stand up in front of a class so I could learn to do it somewhere I enjoyed. And it really, really helped. But you have to decide to put the work in.

All of that ground work is the only reason I could go to an interview at a magic circle law firm and get a job as a lawyer, because if I’d gone in post-graduation at 21, I’d have fallen to literal bits and been a nervous wreck.

I mean, I’m still an introvert, I like to recharge solo as much as possible rather than socialise, and that’s totally okay! I can still be awkward and weird hahaha… but I got over that crippling shyness and if I managed to, anyone else can too.

So here are my tips! And yes, ultimately it really is a case of fake it (or try!) until you make it!

1. Stop hiding behind the ‘it’s just my personality, I’m shy’

This is tough love, I know. I used to have panic attacks about doing public speaking, and I’ll never love it. BUT if you repeatedly practice exposing yourself to uncomfortable situations, you WILL adapt. Be gentle with yourself, do it gradually, you don’t have to be too mean to yourself. But the big key is to stop making excuses and decide to make a change. The way to start is to jump in and practice whatever it is that makes you uncomfortable. 

Set small goals initially. Baby steps. Then as you get into your stride, you can take the leaps and bounds.

Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.

2. Physical strength builds mental strength

Did you see this one coming? 😉 Fitness is amazing for releasing feel-good hormones (endorphin pump is REAL y’all) but it also shows you the power of practice – little by little you increase strength and/or cardio fitness and it shows you change IS possible, which should give you the confidence to keep trying new things!

I did a Kayla Itsines leg workout the day of my training contract interview and it literally saved me hahaha!

3. Re-train your brain: the long bit!

How much time do you spend worrying about what other people think about you? I read an amazing book called The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k and it suggested you have a think about the important things in your life that you DO and are WILLING to give a fuck about. Anything not on that list? It’s not within your fuck budget. Let that shit gooooooo!

How your life feels to you is more important than how it looks to other people

Trust your own choices and stop talking to yourself in a negative way in your head. Try just repeating (silently or aloud!) ‘I CAN do this’ or something similar. It sounds super American and cheesy but when your habit is to tell yourself you CAN do something instead of saying you CAN’T, it does make a massive shift in your mindset.

Too scared to try something in the gym? Feel stupid, watched, embarassed? Re-train your thought process to be like SO WHAT? What’s the worst that could happen? They’d laugh at you? (I guarantee the other people there won’t, they’re too busy doing their own workouts, but even if they did…) Worse things happen at sea, guys.

The ego likes to try and protect us from laughter or scorn from others, but I think as a result it goes into overdrive and makes us think 99% of the time people are judging us when actually they don’t really care or even notice what we’re doing! Your opinion and that of those you love (and maybe the person who pays you!) is the only one that counts. Let everything else go. Even if the worst case scenario comes true and you’re super embarassed – so what? Once you start approaching things this way, and not minding looking silly, you’ll 100% feel liberated.

I used to experiment with my hair tonnes as a kid, but my dad’s side of the family always made comments about it, and gradually I think I stopped wanting to experiment. I started to think I had to have long hair to prove I was a girl (?! wtf ?! seriously ?!) as comments would often be about short hair being ‘boyish’. As my EDs got stronger and my confidence got lower, I felt like I was way too ugly for short hair and needed long hair to distract from it. How crazy is that?!

So, recently, (and also once a year and a half ago!) I chopped all my hair off again from my boobs to my collarbone, and it’s super liberating… and I now don’t care what anyone else things, apart from me and my boyfriend basically!

Basically, work, fitness, gym, wherever… there’s a bit of work to be done on realising that you just need to go with your gut. And if it all goes wrong and you look silly… you’re not dying, you’re still alive and have soooo many good things going on… so focus on that ❤

Admittedly some of it comes with age too. The nearer  I get to 30, the better able I am to shake off anyone who bugs me and stick to my fuck budget 😉

Books for this process that I’d recommend (although you may have to take with a pinch of salt as they can get a bit too hippyish, but I do still love them!) are Life Tonic by Jody Shield and Hungry For More by Mel Wells.

4. Daily meds*

*meditations, of course!

Whether you hate the idea of meditation as woo woo, you’re a hippy spiritual moon-child or [insert other extreme here], meditation has been proven by various reputable scientific studies to have a positive effect on the brain due to its promotion of the ‘relaxation response’, a physiological change in the body as a result of the ‘relaxed’ state.

So. For the purposes of confidence, meditation’s mention here is twofold:

  1. it teaches you increased focus, which makes you better able to let go of nagging, negative thoughts like ‘I can’t do this, I’m too scared, I’m too shy, I’m too anxious, why is everyone else more confident/smarter/prettier/cleverer than me…’ and breathe, and master your emotions.
  2. it connects you better with yourself and your thought patterns, and by being more present with yourself, you eventually come to realise that you’re not your thoughts… you’re the observer of your thoughts. So you can actually create change and not let thoughts control you, but also it should increase your ability to spend time with yourself, feel good within yourself and actually (god forbid if you’re British) LIKE YOURSELF. Like, what is this madness?!

Also, her style may not be for everyone, but Jody Shield does a meditation series (with a track specifically relating to confidence) if you fancy giving it a try. Despite my atheist and decidedly not spiritual views, I really like her stuff – I find her voice super relaxing.

So, how are we feeling?

Hopefully some of these help a bit… Would love to hear any more you can add!

Also check out this piece on how to be confident by Rose The Londoner and this FREE fierce confidence workshop / livestream replay with Jody Shield to help you get started!

B xoxo

You may also wanna browse:

Ways to boost body confidence on bad days – without working out!

Careers section – Inspire Interview Series plus work tips, resources and confidence building

Body Confidence: talking about taboos, fat loss and some tips!

How to stay motivated to fit in workouts with an office job

Motivation 101: get it and keep it

Is it vain to have a fitness instagram?Is it vain to have a fitness instagram? + dangers of social media

Sparkle: resources to find yours

#Inspire Interview 5: MEL WELLS (actress, best-selling author, speaker, food & psychology coach!)

 

 

F*CK THAT: A message to the creators of those ‘what to wear for your body type’ graphics

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Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

I said I wasn’t going to post about wedding stuff, because it’s very personal to me and my fiance and I are very private about that kind of thing.

But in looking for inspo, especially in the realms of The Dress, we came across a lot of graphics. They go something like this:

“What to wear for your body type:

Pear shaped? Wear XXXXX sihlouette.

Apple? Wear XXXXX sihlouette…”

And so it goes…

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

And it’s not just weddings. Magazines and online articles tell you the ‘best slimming outfits’ or how to ‘dress to flatter your body type’.

Why am I kicking up about this?

BECAUSE YOU SHOULD WEAR WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.

WHAT IS ‘FLATTERING’ IS WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. PERIOD.

PS. FUCK ‘SLIMMING’. Just… don’t even start.

The problem with these cookie-cutter guides is they’re basically assuming a normative beauty standard (let’s call this societal ideal the ‘norm’ for ease) and by saying ‘if you’re a pear, wear an A-line dress to emphasise your waist and cover up your big hips’, what they’re implying is you need to create the illusion of a different body because yours isn’t good enough as it is.

Yes, this is a subtlety. But it’s there. And it’s insidious.

If they’re talking about black clothing being slimming or horizontal stripes NOT being slimming, they’re preying on insecurities and pushing the societal ‘norm’ and obsession with losing weight and being slender down our throats… and by recommending ‘slimming’ clothing, they’re undermining curvy and fat bodies, and suggesting they too should be ‘fixed’.

And they’re doing this so subtly with helpful ‘advice’ and tips that even little girls can come across in magazines… (during my EDs I consumed massive amounts of this rubbish, and it definitely helped fuel me putting my fingers down my throat… how terribly sad and twisted is that? But I didn’t even realise because it’s the ‘norm’, right?!)

Darling… let’s get something fucking straight. Your body IS good enough, exactly how it is. 

If, like me, you’re technically a pear shape (you gain muscle and/or fat most easily on your legs and hips, and your skeleton likely has a slightly wider pelvis than shoulders – so take note, no amount of dieting is going to change this!) and you want to wear a fishtail/mermaid sihlouette for your damn wedding dress, but these graphics and articles imply you shouldn’t because you should be trying to ‘hide’ or ‘de-emphasise’ your lower body…

F*CK. THAT.

Now, hold on, you might be thinking… but I am self-conscious about *insert body-part here* and I do want to de-emphasise it…

A couple of things: firstly – that is TOTALLY NORMAL AND OKAY, we all have insecurities. This is about dressing in a way that YOU feel confident and at your best. My issue is with a cookie-cutter approach that ASSUMES you want to do certain things, as this implies that you should, to conform to the ‘norm’, and if you don’t, you look ‘wrong’ somehow.

However, I’d also  encourage as a side-note to explore WHY you feel negatively about that body part – chances are you’ve been affected by messaging we’re bombared with EVERYWHERE about what our bodies should look like. When we’re born, we don’t hate our thighs, or our stomachs, or our chest or arms. We get hungry, we get happy, we sleep, we live life. Our insecurities are LEARNED.

And if you work on it, you can UN-LEARN them too. Case in point: I used to long for skinny legs. I’d repeate the 90s Kate-Moss-heroin-chic mantra ‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’ while I threw up the 1 apple I’d eaten that day. Because I felt like being skinny, like models, actresses and magazine imagery that I saw as a young girl, was what I should be.

Now? I have wide hips, and I have strong quads, and it’s still where I hold more fat and muscle, while my mid-section doesn’t gain so easily. And I am more than OK with that. I love my body now. In the words of Shakira, lucky I have strong legs like my mother / to run for cover when I need it…

(But I do appreciate that its tough to get to that place of self-love. I know you can’t flip a switch. It took many, many years, therapy, briefly medication, reading anything and everything, soul-searching, a supportive boyfriend and a LOT of effort plus a Harley Street Nutritionist and a million positive instagram influencers to help fix me! To get started on your journey to accepting your body the way it is, click here for some life-changing stuff with Mel Wells…)

You’re allowed to want to emphasise the parts of your body you like most.

You’re allowed to want to de-emphasise or downplay the parts that make you feel less confident.

The only thing you should be wearing is whatever you freaking want.

The wedding dress issue is neither here nor there – the same is true for ALL outfits at ALL times.

On your wedding day, though, not only again do you want to feel confident and happy in yourself (so you don’t need helpful ‘advice’ about what society considers most flattering for you because f*ck the norm, f*ck general opinion, YOU are the one wearing it!), but you’re marrying someone who loves you AS YOU. You don’t need to look like anyone but yourself, or to try to fit into some constructed ideal.

Just wear whichever damn dress you please.

And if it happens to align with the advice? It doesn’t matter at all, that’s totally cool, as long as the advice isn’t the driver. If it’s genuinely what you want, go for it.

And if, as in my case, you’re likely to be breaking all the rules? Well, I’ll leave you with this babes:

kat
Photo credit: Pinterest